The Front Door

2 Oct

And like I mean, the actual front door of our house. Not MY front door, as opposed to my back door or any such similar nonsense. Our front door is a bit fucked. It has two locks – a middle lock and a side lock. We all tend to lock the middle lock, or both.

Having to have sliding doors for your main entrance is one of the downfalls of living in Japan. I would have much preferred a nice big solid front door but at house building time I think Granny K was prattling on about how it would be easier to get her and her wheelchair in a sliding door. I was pregnant and hormonal al the time and put up a bit of a fight that included the argument that she would be in a vestling impaired home well before I would be needing to  push her wheelchair round the house but then hub piped up that a sliding door would be better for the pushchair too….. so I lost the argument. In hindsight I should have stuck to my guns  because in Japan a pushchair is like a pair of shoes – it has to stay in the entranceway or outside, so its not like I could have rolled it on into the house to keep a sleeping baby asleep.

So anyhoo, the middle lock is fucked. It took me five minutes of wriggling yesterday to even get the damn thing unlocked. This morning Granny K wants to head outside to go put her washing on – she has a washing machine out in the shed. An old one. That she knows how to use. She refuses to use the nice big front loading drum machine we have inside. But, she couldn’t get out the front door. Fucker wouldn’t even unlock from the inside.

Her and hub stand there trying to wriggle it for ten minutes, Shou suggests using a few screws, a hammer and maybe a safety-pin, and I suggest we ring up the door man to come fix our lock. Hub is DIY retarded – as in, puts the back of a drawer on the wrong way, scratches his head when it doesn’t fit, and declares that we need to ring the maker right this instant and demand a new one. You should have seen him trying to help put up the adventure playground. Almost grounds for divorce.

So, when he says that he is going to ‘take it off’ (hazusu) I just presumed he meant the whole fuckin door. I yell no, don’t be stupid, because Granny K and I both have to go out this morning and if we can’t fix it the house will be wide open. He tells me to calm the fuck down and he knows what he’s talking about. I probably then shouted at him to stop shouting at me.

It then became apparent that he wasn’t going to take the whole door off he was just going to unscrew the lock bit and see if he could fix whatever it was that was wrong. This is a language misunderstanding and the bollocksy annoying Japanese way of leaving the subject out of practically every sentence ever, ever, ever. I tell him that he needs to explain things better – especially when I have a huge translation in. Don’t expect me to understand anything unless its university academic policy.

So he fixes it – temporarily. As in, Granny K can now have the luxury of going out the front door to do her washing. Shou takes this as a sign that daddy is superior to mummy – the fact that I didn’t understand daddy’s Japanese. Fortunately hub said no son, it’s a language thing. Neither language is better they are just different and mum gets frustrated…..

Yeah, and if you could all just mind speaking more English a bit I’d get less frustrated.

Thanks very much.

It just took me five minutes wriggling the key to get in the house. Me thinks the locksmith will be being called.



6 Responses to “The Front Door”

  1. Perogyo October 2, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    Oh yes! So many misunderstandings would be avoided if they used a bloody subject!

    • gaijinwife October 3, 2013 at 11:08 pm #

      right!, very annoying. Just to show you how much I struggle with trying to internationalize our house and my husband – this morning I ran out with the kids and shouted ‘byeeeeeeeee’ and got no response. So I said it again. Bye! Apparantly hub didn’t respond cause he didn’t know that only one ‘bye’ was the same as saying ‘bye bye’. Fuck. Head. Wall…

  2. Xana October 3, 2013 at 12:00 am #

    How annoying. We are supposed to use the upper lock when we are in the house (so the toddler can’t wander out into the street), but the lower (middle) lock when we go out, because it is easier to reach when carrying 25 school/shopping bags and a baby. However, certain members of the association just use whichever lock they choose, when they can be bothered to find a key and lock it at all, so I am always locking and unlocking in various combinations (while carrying a toddler, 2 landoserus, a nap futon, and 10 more misc small bags). Drives me batty. Also, the door doesn’t close on its own, so on several occasions I have loaded 3 kids and 25 bags into the car and driven off with it wide open. Come home hours later, still wide open. I think it scares the robbers away. Fwiw, I always left my baby sleeping in the stroller in the genkan. Bad mom?

    • gaijinwife October 3, 2013 at 11:06 pm #

      no, to be honest I did too 🙂 and actually I think even on one occassion when Granny K wasn’t home I just rolled that thing into the kitchen, dirty tyre tracks and all 🙂 Fuuuuuuuuuck, I hate the amount of shite kids have to carry here. There is no point at all to them having a desk and a locker at school. With only Shou and HTB in their class they even have 20 lockers each and they still have to bring books home every day. Yes, I do agree that leaving the door wide open is quite possible a very good robber deterant 🙂

  3. Ang October 7, 2013 at 8:30 am #

    So nice to back reading about your life trials. I have missed you so. You can see I am still rarely on FB!

    • gaijinwife October 13, 2013 at 9:23 am #

      I know – how can you not use FB as the worlds best procrastinating tool like the rest of us!! Sorry I missed your call the other day. Must. Catch. Up. Soon. Need to get dates set in for January if thats still a goer at your end.

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