I just don’t like the kid.

1 Nov

I’m not very excited to admit that as an adult, I actually do not like a little person. Not my own little person. But one of my own little person’s ummmmmmmm, I wouldn’t say friend, but classmate? FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. HTB.

He is so overly annoying. On Fridays he frequents my classroom for English – this is not my choice. His parents pay me muula to teach him for 45 minutes a week. Which I do. After the first 15 minutes of settling the three first grade boys (the one girl is lovely) down to ‘room acceptable noise level’, we do aboout 30 minutes of English but for the love of God the boy has an exceptionally superb vocal range.

read as TOO FUCKIN LOUD

I know lots of little boys are just generaly loud but this boy tops the list.

I actually get on with the mum. Have to deal with and see her a lot. However one of MY main problems with them (minus the fact I just think dad is a dickhead), is that Mum is frequently very uselsss in picking her son up from English. Class finishes at 4:15. Quite often HTB is still at our house half an hour later and I have even him taken him to the supermarket with me and back to the kids club to wait for his mum – who also on occassion just outright forgets. She finishes work, goes to the supermarket and then goes to pick her child up from the after school care only to get told its English day.

Anyhoo, today at 4:20 HT boy informs me that its the first of November and so his mum (who works in the bank) will be later than usual and therefore, he would like to come inside and make a card for his sister (whos birthday it was today). It was his mums birthday on English day about three weeks ago and because I did have the time that dad I got some stuff out for him to make a card for her but today I had shit to do, so I put stop to said antics and piled him and the other two boys who had yet to be collected FIFTEEN MINUTES after the SET class time had ended, into the car. The other two boys were being collected by one mum – who works at the local supermarket where I had to go. I rang her and said that unless she was in the car on the way here I would just drop them off.

In the car, HTB says that I should stop at the cake shop. I ask why? He says, I should be buying his four year old sister a cake for her birthday. I ask him why his English teacher should buy his sister a cake? he says that it would make up for the fact that I was making HIM late.

FuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK – I know he is only seven but for the love of fucking god,  YOU come to ME for 45 minutes of English, AFTER WHICH you are expected to be picked up.  ANYTHING ABOVE AND BEYOND THIS IS FUCKIN SERVICE TO THE GOD DAMN UN. I am not making you late. Your mum, who I know works at the bank and is very busy but still cant find the time to send a two second text to say so – ever – is to blame. (FTR – his mum finishes work at 4pm offically) And NO, I will not buy your sister a fuckin cake even if you say it might make your mum like me DESPITE THE FACT I AM MAKING YOU LATE.

Gahhhhhhh, sometimes the wine just doesn’t floweth fast enough.

Kampai.

and apologies if that made no fuckin sense at all. But  god damn, I do not like the boy. full stop. he also got told off in English today for repeating the word ‘hentai’ which means disgusting pervert basically. I dropped him off at the after school care (that is open until six pm and at which I dropped him off at when I picked my own kids up because his mohter was still AWOL) and he said the word again and I said NO, we dont say it at English class, and we dont say it here. The woman in charge of the afterschool care kind of shook her head and said she was woried about him saying shit like that – but it was quite obvious she didn’t  do anything to stop it!!

Gahhhhhhhh.

Ya know if his mum came to me and actually asked it I would mind him staying after English every Friday for a set period of time, that she then honored, I would probably say yes. I know its hard for working mums and quite often the bank does keep her a bit late. She has inlaws though – they are the ones that pick him up from school and bring him.

But I’m a working mum too. Sometimes the fact that I work from home just gets taken advantage of.

At least I don’t need to see the boy for another seven days. Although I do see him when I drop Shou off at the walk point every morning. The other day I was in the car talking to Shou before he got out and HTB came up to my window and just started banging and banging and shouting at me. I was THIS close to winding it down and telling him in a lovely voice to piss off. When you meet kids who have behaviour that you wouldn’t accept from your own kids it does make you wonder what their parents are doing.

And know I’ll get off my high horse.

Thankyou.

SDGH&QL

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13 Responses to “I just don’t like the kid.”

  1. Adam W November 1, 2013 at 2:32 pm #

    Oh my god. What an annoying child. And it’s totally okay not to like children, because they’re more than likely going change personalities quickly. Hopefully. If that makes any sense. You have the patience of a goddamn saint!

    • gaijinwife November 2, 2013 at 1:53 am #

      Hey Adam!!
      Very bloody annoying. I have known him his whole life. Fortunately he has stopped the high pitched screeching he used to do ALL THE FUCKIN TIME. But he still doesn’t have much volume control. I can definitely see the stages he is going through but why do ALL of them have to be so annoying!! xx

  2. Claire in Cambridge November 1, 2013 at 3:27 pm #

    Aaargh. No ideas (apart from texting HTB’s mother 15 minutes before the end of each lesson to remind her to pick him up on time, getting progressively more offensively polite each week), but lots of sympathy. And you’ve got another 5.5 years of this, presumably ….

    • gaijinwife November 2, 2013 at 1:51 am #

      Thanks Claire. She’s useless at checking her phone but I could try that – or just go into the bank every Friday and say in a loud voice as I leave ‘Don’t foget its English day today’ – which is what a friend does if she goes in on Fridays 🙂 In a few years I’ll just tell the boy to walk home. Does Japan have home alone age laws? I think NZ is 14 but in Japan it seems to be about bloody 2.

  3. chrysanthemummum November 1, 2013 at 10:53 pm #

    It’s a tricky one… but I think you should make it clear to his mum that she is taking liberties. You are his English teacher and not a childminding service. She should pay for any extra time that her child is in your care. Easier to suggest than to actually carry out I know. you have my sympathy. Good luck!

    • gaijinwife November 2, 2013 at 1:48 am #

      Its so hard!! If I was just the boys English teacher…. and that was the only interaction I had with the family. On the days she outright forgets she is very apologetic but usually its a ‘gomen ne’ as she comes 15 minutes late or soemthing. Usually I am still talking with one of the other mums while her daughter and HTB play in the yard – but thats out of necessity for making sure HTB is OK and not just faffing off inside while people are screaming round the front lawn. To her it must look like I don’t mind. Time for a ‘house rules’ poster to be stuck to the front door and a note going home with the next monthly pay envelope.

  4. M November 2, 2013 at 12:28 am #

    I agree with the idea about asking his mom to pay for after school care. Maybe you can explain to her that you actually work from home (and are busy because you don’t work normal Japanese business hours) so you don’t have the time to look after other people’s kids. I have relatives that work at child care facilities in the States who complain about parents like that. I know it must be hard for her being so busy, and although I don’t have children myself, I can imagine it being difficult to go from work mode to mother mode fairly quickly. That said, doesn’t she have any family around to help her so that she doesn’t put out other people?

    • gaijinwife November 2, 2013 at 1:45 am #

      Thanks M 🙂 Her inlaws live about 5 mintues away and appear to be quite helpful in always picking the boy up and bringing him to class. Because our kids are the only two kids in grade one we have a lot to do with each other. They also live about 1km up the road from us so we have all the community shit together too. I think I’ll send out a group email saying it is OK for your child to play in our backyard AFTER class for ten minutes. We have swings and a slide – which is unusual for Japan. But they must be supervised but someone other than me. Right, I’m getting worked up about it again. This is partyly my own fault for being to lenient. Must. Toughen. Up.

  5. Charlie's mom Michelle November 2, 2013 at 11:07 pm #

    omg, it is totally alright not to like that boy. He sounds like a righteous mess and when he grows up he will be an annoying little tight ass that somehow finds a wife to put up with his foolishness and then only grows worse. It’s hard to admit to yourself when you don’t like a kid. I mean it just seems so wrong. But hey, it happens, and its probably that little boy’s piss-ant father making his child that annoying so you have reason. You aren’t at fault in the least. And yes, you need your time respected! Maybe let them know u have serious translating work to do and he should just not come at all when he can’t be picked up on time?

  6. SomedaysSarah November 3, 2013 at 7:18 am #

    As a Girl Scout leader one year we had a lot of extra trouble with parents taking advantage of us. It got to the point that all three of us leaders (VOLUNTEERS) were ready to quit. Until we sent a letter home to parents, reminding them of pick up and drop off times, reminding them we were VOLUNTEERS. We included a copy of the budget (showing we were not being paid and in fact often paid for craft supplies out of our own pockets) and a flyer requesting more volunteers to help.

    We had no more problems with a single one of those parents for the rest of their daughters time in Girl Scouts. Not a single one.

    We were shocked and thrilled. What had seemed so obvious to us (that we were volunteers not paid like teachers, that pick up and drop off times were important, that we all had busy lives with jobs/school/family outside of Girl Scouts, etc) just had not occurred to the parents. They weren’t being purposefully rude, they just hadn’t bothered to think about how their actions affected others. Since nothing had been said directly to them they just did whatever was easiest for them and had no clue how upset we were.

    All a long-winded way of saying that you really should come up with a set of rules, post a sign, and send a letter home with each student. It may do wonders!

    If you set out what is allowed and what not, make it clear why you are doing so (you have translations to do, other classes to teach, your family to deal with, meal prep, ballet lesson driving, etc not that there has been problems with certain students), remind them that you work (teaching and translation, do they know about the latter?), and also make it clear what you will do if the rules are not followed and then carry through. That way when any parent does not follow the rules you both know it and if it does not improve you can send a letter home to them, reminding them of the rules and saying if they do not follow them then you will have to stop teaching their child. Make it THEIR problem, not yours!

    (And yeah, I would hate that little person too, totally allowable!!)

  7. Ruth November 3, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    Wow, I hate him too and that’s only from reading your blog. Maybe the Dad should try worrying about his own child’s issues…. Maybe you could send a note home with the kids saying that they will be charged extra if they’re not collected on time?? Or is that a bit too cheeky?

  8. xanaxjunkee November 4, 2013 at 7:02 pm #

    I always thought that the Japanese were into being timely…. does it not apply when being timely to a foreigner? That would get me really irked. I once dropped off my nephew on my sister’s front porch cause she went AWOL and her boyfriend (baby daddy) wouldn’t come get my nephew because my sister was supposed to. I had watched the muchkin 2 hours after the promised pick up time.

    As for little people, personally not a fan of them. And ow we have a 10 year old in the house that has volume control/hissy fit control issues. -_- I feel ya on this one, “Gahhhhhhh, sometimes the wine just doesn’t floweth fast enough.”

  9. Xana November 6, 2013 at 7:09 am #

    I agree with sending a letter home reminding everyone that children should be picked up in timely fashion and why. If that doesn’t work, then I think you are perfectly justified in sending another letter saying any additional time will be billed at ¥XXX/15 minutes or whatever. Other schools do it. And rightly so. Your time is valuable.

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Mrs D Is Going Without

Too much wine in rural Japan

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