Christmas Greetings and Salutations

26 Dec

Belated Christmas wishes, for the half of the world who are onto boxing day anyway. The rest of you I guess I still made it just in time.

Boxing day in NZ would involve left overs and playing with chrissy toys, and as adults, BBQ, wine and a mildly competitive pissed petanque competition at mum and dads. I gather that is still what goes on, just sans the mum and dad bit now.  Here in Japan though I sit with a coffee, trying to muster the strength to clean up the aftermath of kids getting too many toys, wrapping paper, roasting pans, the usual housey shit and then there is sorting through the THIRTY pieces of paper Shou came home with on his last day of school on Tuesday (tomorrow’s post).

I’m getting used to Christmas in Japan. I will never do it the ‘Japanese’ way though, as that involves fried chicken and cake on Christmas eve. Actually, let me rephrase that. As a gaijin in Japan I have the prerogative to do Christmas twice, the Japanese way and the my way. We had the cake and chicken version last Friday, with the European Stylist.

A surprise to a lot of people I saw on the 24th, we were not doing anything that night. But its Christmas and you’re like a gaijin and all, aren’t you meant to do it right? Aha, but having Christmas dinner on Christmas day is the right way, tis why its called Christmas bloody dinner and not Christmas-eve-dinner slash KFC and cream cake wonderland.

Now, if I was truly wanting my kids to have the full NZ experience, I wouldn’t have sent them off to school and winter club. I would have demanded my husband take the day off work and kept the kids home. I used to get upset that hub didn’t think the most important ‘holiday’ for me wasn’t important enough to take a single day off work.


Fuck, it is SOOOO much easier getting Christmas dinner ready and setting the table, cleaning the house, singing really loud out of tune carols when you are doing it solo. As it happened I picked the kids up at 4 so I could bring them home, and finish the dinner prep with a wine in hand – almost tradition itself. Not sure if its even legal in NZ to prepare Christmas dinner without a drink in hand. I had put in my special roast pork order at the supermarket. I am an amazement to the meat guy there. One Christmas I’ll have to invite him over just so I can feed him some pork crackling. So he knows I’m serious when I say I want a 2kg cut with as much white shit as possible thanks. He did a stellar job this year.

Roast pork, roast vegies, mashed spuds and lashings of gravy. Bubbles, wine, cheese and strawberry and cream santas.

Granny K had asked me earlier in the day if I wanted her to get the rice ready. I said that I didn’t mind if she brought rice to the table, eventhough I would prefer if she didn’t, but under no circumstances was she to bring it for anyone else or to even suggest that they might want some.

So she rocked up to the table with 5 big rice balls and a bowl of mikans. Rice is better for you she said, and everyone should be having a mikan before having the fatty meat and gravy.

If I’d have had a concrete wall in sight I would have hit my head against it, repeatedly, or at the very least hit her head against it. But one must make compromises, so I just let out a really over exaggerated sigh, polished off my bubbles and held my glass out to hub for more please.

Ryu was chowing his dinner back – under the deluded impression that you could start opening the prezzies under the tree as soon as you had finished dinner. Which, to be fair, was what I said – but meant after dinner, for everyone, was complete. Marina inhaled a rice ball without me even noticing, but still ate her real dinner, and Shou looked at me to gage how cross I’d be if he reached for the rice. I gave him the eye.

He ate his spuds and gravy.

I remember a couple of years ago I went mental at Granny K, and the kids. Its one fuckin day of the year I expect you to eat your dinner without rice, to murmur thankyous and nom noms and yum yums, even if you don’t like mashed potatoes or gravy… ??? Anyhoo, I let it slide a bit this year. Granny K ate all her Christmas dinner, the kids ate theirs, I savoured mine, and hub had seconds, lots of wine, and whispered in a very loud voice about it being Wednesday… Business Time….

And thus, Christmas dinner was over for another year. Time to rip into the prezzies. Here Santa arrives in the morning with a few random prezzies, a mikan and some chocolate in a stocking and the family prezzies are opened after Christmas dinner. The Santa favorite was a robotic spider that Shou got. Absolutely hate the thing and can’t understand why Santa would even get something like that. Shou thinks Santa is awesome.

And now I am blatantly going to plug one of the prezzies the kids got – well, actually Marina and Ryu both got one, slightly different varieties. They are AWESOME. And the only negative I can think of is that the radio channels for the remotes are the same, so for a good half an hour Ryu was in hysterics cause he wasn’t even using his controller and his car was flipping and walking sideways and shit – thanks Marina.

light up stuntmicrodrive

They both cost about 2500 yen (30 dollars) and are part of the Fast Lane RC series – the green one is a Microdrive and the red is a light up stunt. Those wheels flash different colors and the front wheels can criss cross over each other. It can move just on its back wheels and basically can almost walk sideways if it hits a wall. It is the absolute bomb. Marina’s one, the green one can drive upside bloody down. It hits something and flips over and just keeps on bloody going. The red one is age 6 and up and the green one is 8. The tiny remote controlled helicopter Shou got is age 15 up. Obviously I don’t take much notice. All three of them have good controller skills. Thanks Mario and Luigi.

Can’t wait till the weather clears up and they can take them out onto the bumpy lawn.

Right, and thats the Christmas post. I got hub a new leather bag for work and he got me a kettle…

Merry Christmas to you all. Have a fabulous festive season.








16 Responses to “Christmas Greetings and Salutations”

  1. Kym December 26, 2013 at 12:13 pm #

    Happy Boxing Day!
    Ohh, but Granny K, at yochien the kids are not allowed to *touch* their fruit until everything else is eaten, because obviously fruit is dezaato. What naughty shenanigans were you up to, crafty old Baba 😉
    Glad you had a good one, despite the mikan and rice tomfoolery 🙂

    • gaijinwife December 27, 2013 at 12:30 am #

      Exactly! Fortunately no matter how much coaxing she did the kids didn’t eat one and in the end even hub got sick of the harping on about bloody mikan and told her to be quite 🙂

  2. Heda504 December 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm #

    Roast pork with all the trimmings (bubbly and otherwise) or a rice ball? Hmmm…..let me choose. Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas.

    • gaijinwife December 27, 2013 at 12:32 am #

      Right! Bloody retard. I don’t put a big bowl of spuds on the table in the middle of a houji or new years traditional meal – well, maybe I should. So she knows what it feels like. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you. xxx

  3. Leash December 26, 2013 at 8:58 pm #

    I hope a kettle was what you asked for…

    • gaijinwife December 27, 2013 at 12:36 am #

      Unfortunately it wasn’t encrusted in Swarovski crystals. Our old kettle broke and have been using small pot for about a month. Am quite impressed he got me anything at all but wish he had had a bit more intuition into color scheming and shit. In fairness he didn’t ask for a leather bag either. We probably need a few more counseling sessions on how to get your partner a gift they will appreciate for Christmas 🙂

  4. chrysanthemummum December 27, 2013 at 1:11 am #

    Happy Christmas to you and your family.

    The desire to eat rice with every meal is infuriating. I say, plonk down a big bowl of mash on New Years Day or, even better, a plate of bread and butter a mile high and sit there showing your kids how to make a variety of o-sechi sandwiches just to see her reaction.

    I really can’t wait to read the 30 letters from school post lol! I kept my two off all week so James missed the last few days at school. We haven’t received any info at all – I only have the four notes I found from school last Friday (his last day) plus three coloured prints advertising events in the community over the next few months. I have read the winter vacation seikatsu letter – made my blood boil.How dare they tell me how me and my kids should be spending the winter holidays! I am not an imbecile. I AM a responsible parent thank you very much.

    All the best for 2014 xxx

    • gaijinwife December 27, 2013 at 8:26 am #

      and to top it off today a couple of the kids at the winter club told Shou his vegemite and cheese sandwhich, yoghurt, mikan and christmas cookie lunch was full of ‘dessert’ and he shouldn’t be allowed to bring it cause it wasn’t rice. FFS.
      All the best to you too next year. An exciting year ahead. xxx

  5. Adam W December 29, 2013 at 10:03 pm #

    Merry belated Christmas to you and your clan! I was salivating reading about your dinner, and then disgusted when Granny K brought out the rice and mikan. I can understand savory rice like how we have in here in the Southwest US, but real rice… no.

    • gaijinwife December 30, 2013 at 12:09 am #

      Belated seasons greetings to you too Adam. Hope you are having a fabulous festive season. xx

  6. Amy December 30, 2013 at 6:29 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing your new blog link with me!

    I’d missed reading your blog so much, I just binge-read all of your new entries since September, and pretty much laughed nonstop. So glad you’re still sharing your humor with random people like me.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your adorable family. 🙂

  7. Kathryn OHalloran December 30, 2013 at 8:14 am #

    Who the hell would rather eat rice than mash with gravy? Damn heathens. Rice is just something you eat when you are too lazy to peel spuds.

  8. SomedaysSarah December 31, 2013 at 11:09 pm #

    Dear god – the need for rice at every meal ticks me right off! Thankfully, however, I made fun of U’s request for rice the first Christmas I did the whole meal in Japan, and my family STILL teases him about it, all ensuring HE WILL NEVER DARE TO ASK AGAIN!

    A belated Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a belated Happy New Year too!

  9. Deb January 1, 2014 at 4:13 am #

    Merry Christmas! Where did you get the toy cars? I have a few nephews that’d be all over those!

  10. Elly January 2, 2014 at 1:54 pm #

    Merry Chrimble and Happy 2014 🙂

    Today my father-in-law unexpectedly transformed into a kind of reverse-Granny K, insisting on gaijining up my o-zoni by submerging a chunk of camembert in it :S CAMEMBERT. He just plonked it right in there despite my baffled squeaks of protest. Tried to put butter in it as well but I managed to stop him.

    Then he put cheese in his own bowl as well and decided it was so good that we should make it a yearly tradition.

    It was a bit weird. Frankly.

    I can swap him for Granny K for a couple of weeks if you like, and old codger exchange 🙂 Just for a bit of balance. Be warned that he’s a thunderous night-farter however.

  11. Rachel January 6, 2014 at 12:05 am #

    I dont understand why they insist rice is so healthy. I hear this all the time. Once our school hired a “health professional” to come to our school to teach the teachers about nutrition. He just wouldnt shut up about how important rice was for our diet, then he showed us a small bowl of Haagen-Dazs ice cream and two bigger bowls of rice and asked us all “which would you prefer?” and I was the only one that chose the ice cream. They all laughed, “hahaha silly gaijin”

    Happy New Year to you! May you have another successful blogging (and otherwise) year!

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