Giving up the Grog

3 Jan

So I had decided on New Year’s Eve that my NY resolution would be World Peace, as surely that was more attainable than actually losing weight and stopping the wine thing.  But then I woke up on the 1st and thought fuck it, I’m going to ditch carbs and never drink again until I’m skinny enough to fit those jeans I bought three months back – and which I completely fucked up the US sizing for, and which are subsequently so small I can only get them half way up my knees.

By ten am I was so starving I had to relinquish the carb resolution by scoffing two bits of cheese on toast.

I will admit to the teaspoon of gold flake induced Japanese sake tradition enforced me to have with our slimey shiitake mushrooms and sponge tofu for breakfast on New Year’s morning, but thereafter I have remained not just wine-less, but also beer-less, chuhai-less and every other kind of alcoholic beverage-less. Quite a feat. A feat only a person who partakes in beverage squiffing 8 nights of the week can adhere to.

And so here we are. Approximately 69 hours into the new year.

The resolution isn’t to ditch the sauce entirely though. That would just be sillyness. No, the resolution is to ditch the senseless partaking of drinks either by self, or with hub in front of senseless Japanese variety TV programs that may or may not involve men in black suits and sunglasses chasing famous people around a deserted amusement park, marathons of any description, or famous comedians and actors falling into trap holes and/or cracking through walls dressed as yellow jumping laughing mascots.

This basically equals no drinking at home unless we are having a dinner party (rare but not unheard of), it is a birthday (very rare – in fact I’m not having any more ever ever again), and anniversaries. In the future I am not allowed to extend this to include ‘Wahoo its Monday’ anniversary, ‘Wahoo its Tuesday’ anniversary, ‘Wahoo its the middle of the week and I survived dance class again’ anniversary, ‘Wahoo I love Thursdays’ anniversary, ‘Wahoo I can squiff wine whilst watching 7 Days NZ’ anniversary, ‘Who doesn’t drink on Saturday’ anniversary’, and ‘Wahoo, thank fuckin god I survived Sunday without killing a child’ anniversary.

I am allowed to partake in beverage squiffing outside of the home. This includes mummy parties (of which I had a sum total of two last year), PTA drinky things, and does not refer to holing up in the adventure playhouse in the back yard with a duvet, two bottles of sav and a plastic cup – which I might just add here has never happened but which, along with hiding out in the kids secret room under the stairs, has crossed my mind.

I am also, as you would expect, allowed to squiff to hearts content on holidays – especially those sans children like the one coming up in oh, EIGHTEEN SLEEPS.

So, if all goes well, by the time I leave for NZ in just over two weeks I will have gone 21 days without grog – a record number of days since returning from that trip home with Ryu after mum was diagnosed with that nasty tumor. Ryu was about 10 months old. He is now 4 and a half. My liver is probably so fatty it can no longer do the math for that.

In positive side affects, I haven’t needed a granny nap in the middle of the day – which is like crazy cause its the holidays and therefore am using a lot more calories, energies and mentalities keeping the kids entertained, alive, fed, unscathed from battling siblings etc. I can also see all the veins and bones in my feet and ankles again – which is glorious and just in time for fabulous new bright blue shoes ordered from Modcloth, which should be arriving any day now and may or may not make a cameo appearance on here – with my skinny feet stuffed in them.

In negative side effects, I get a bit cranky at about 4pm – that time when I would usually be checking off things on my imaginary list of what needs to be done before I can open the wine. Finish teaching, finish dinner, bring in the washing, pick the kids up, go to the supermarket rah rah. Japan has pretty much a zero alcohol policy when it comes to driving – unlike New Zealand which is completely fucked and lets people get away with quite a bit before they are over the legal limit. They are cracking down but lets just say, its a blessing I’m in Japan.

To encourage my resolution to last further, hub has decided, from Monday, that he will stop the drinking at home too. He wasn’t drinking as much as I was and quite often I would have one more after he had gone to bed – and would in fact look forward to this quiet time to sip and stream something online. Told myself it was my English time and surely he couldn’t expect me to go without my native language 24 seven. He did fail in his encouragement though by stating that I’d probably just put on any weight I might lose before going back to NZ whilst in NZ stuffing face with kebabs and squiffing wine with the girls. Quite possible but totally missing the point that I need these three weeks mentaly to tell self is possible without spending thousands on going to rehapb clinic with Lindsay Lohan or similar. Not that am famous but you know.

Excuses are out the window for the year of the horse, at least.

Unless I feel the need to let holidays include all public holidays like the Emperor’s birthday – hurrah, happy birthday to the Emperor, squiff. Not to mention respect for the aged day – yay, Granny K, you’re another year closer to um, right, pass us the wine will ya…



PS, to keep you informed of my progress I will therefore be posting every day until the 20th, quite possibly with very boring posts but definitely including that promised post on winter bollocks primary school homework (still very boring) and the obligatory ‘I went to Arashi’ post.


26 Responses to “Giving up the Grog”

  1. Oyomesan January 3, 2014 at 1:03 pm #

    Good luck! Has a Brigit Jones Diary feel to it….bet hub breaks before you do 🙂

    • gaijinwife January 3, 2014 at 10:28 pm #

      I’m not sure. My track record hasn’t been very good the past four years. But must admit a new year feels different! Thank you. Ganbarimasu 🙂

  2. Grace January 3, 2014 at 1:09 pm #

    Happy 2014 from me in the Northern Hemisphere and enjoy your trip home. Looking forward to the daily postings over the next few weeks just drink lots of tea and water instead, doesn’t have the same effect as alcohol, but the end result is good!

    • gaijinwife January 3, 2014 at 10:29 pm #

      Thank you Grace 🙂 have been drinking loads of tea, mainly cause run out of coffee but still a good thing! Should probably switch to green.

  3. Casey January 3, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    Happy New Year and good luck with shedding those kilos. No booze is tough, but you can do it!

    • gaijinwife January 3, 2014 at 10:30 pm #

      Thanks Casey! 2014 has a good ring to it. Ganbarimasu 🙂

  4. PJ January 3, 2014 at 6:53 pm #

    cheering you on gaijinwifey!

    • gaijinwife January 3, 2014 at 10:31 pm #

      Arigatou PJ. Will try not to disappoint.

  5. Michelle January 3, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

    Alcohol is something tasty, funny and dangerous. Be careful, not just because of calories.
    Aaaaand I wanted to tell you that I’ve found these BBC documentaries on youtube, that might help/interest you. “The truth about food” Very interesting. I found it great to find out what I’m doing wrong and what bullshit I still believed. And I haven’t even watched all parts yet!
    (Isn’t it scary? I don’t even know you and yet I watch stuff on youtube and think about you, how it might interest you and such…O.O)

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 3:41 am #

      Thank you Michelle! I’ll definitely take a look at the the documentaries. Not scary at all 🙂

  6. Jo January 3, 2014 at 11:24 pm #

    I could always host a girls night here if you get desperate…. that would count as drinking off-site. Mum leaves on the 9th so hopefully we will get a chance for at least a coffee after she goes and before you leave.

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 3:40 am #

      Sounds like a plan. I should definitely be able to get out to you in between then. Will ring you soon. Haven’t even said Merry Christmas have I? Jeeze. Belated Christmas greetings to you. Hope you had a lovely one with your mum there. xx

  7. chrysanthemummum January 4, 2014 at 12:13 am #

    Good luck with the no drinking at home. I tend to drink a beer or two everyday and it is hard to give up, isn’t it?
    All the best for 2014, Katy. I’m sure you’ll have a great time in New Zealand.

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 3:39 am #

      Now if only I could stop at one or two! I guess if its not in the house the temptation isn’t there. To my credit we have had beer in the house and I still haven’t sneaked it. Hub however did crack open the bubbles we had for NY which didn’t get drunk cause he fell asleep and then I fell asleep! The next morning he thought the sound of him opening it would have brought me downstairs – like a mice to cheese 🙂

  8. Manda January 4, 2014 at 3:29 am #

    Happy New Year from down under!!
    Good luck giving up the grog.
    Wont be easy, but you can do it 🙂
    Now I just need to give up sweets lol

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 3:36 am #

      Happy New Year Manda.
      Good luck on the sweets thing. I can have chocolate and sweets in the house for months and not have it but not the same with a bottle of wine!!

  9. Heda504 January 4, 2014 at 6:34 am #

    Can I comment while drinking a(nother) beer? Hmmmm perhaps not even though I am spending a gorgeous balmy Saturday afternoon watching cricket with the last of the Christmas house guests. I’ll be joining you as soon as I drive said house guest to airport tomorrow!

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 6:42 am #

      LOL – good luck to you from tomorrow then!
      I am looking forward to some gorgous balmy days in a few weeks 🙂

  10. katinkyoto January 4, 2014 at 6:50 am #

    Hi Katy and Happy New Year!

    Think your drinking rules sound good.

    I’ve been eating mikan instead of having wine or snacks since I’ve been home.

    Must say I did enjoy the vino and cheese etc quite well in NZ and Japanese food now I’m back so don’t really feel I’m missing out.

    I think the real test for me will be next week.

    Thinking good thoughts:)


    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 6:59 am #

      we have mikans for Africa here, a good thing. nom nom. Its not often (first time in 8 years to be exact) that I get to go back to NZ on my own and can therefore have what the faff I want for each meal without worring about whether said meal would be appropriate for child. Bliss. I will definitely enjoy it while I can. But no doubt I’ll be hanging out for some rice and tsukemono when I get back too 🙂 Good luck for next week.

  11. Leash January 4, 2014 at 10:02 am #

    Best of luck! Don’t worry about whether Hub gives up or not, focus on you and remember how awesome you will feel at the accomplishment.

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 10:08 am #

      I think I can, I think I can 🙂 Thank you.

  12. brit January 4, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

    Kick some arse Katy. Totally know you can do it!

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 1:05 pm #

      Thank you!! 応援よろしく 🙂

  13. Alex January 4, 2014 at 1:14 pm #

    Fantastic work! I did Febfast a couple of years ago and it was really eye opening to see that I am actually myself without a glass of champagne in hand, it wasn’t just the booze! Well, I thought so at least, not sure what the people around me were thinking but they were all sozzled so I didn’t really care! I’m currently sitting here with a hot water (we are out of tea and my NZ aunt always swears by a cup of hot water before bed) supporting you with every sip.

    Your trip will be all the more special for your efforts. Enjoy the freedom, the lack of buggering about trying to make small people happy, and the lovely glass of NZ white waiting for you when you get there. You’ve earned it over the past eight plus years!

    • gaijinwife January 4, 2014 at 1:18 pm #

      Thank you Alex 🙂 I am sure the wait will be worth it and I imagine encourage me not to drink as much whilst at home as I would have otherwise. Hopefully a slight drop in the scales will also encourage me to only scoff the one kebab and not one every day! One can live in hope at least. Right, time to pee green tea and head to bed. And yes, the freedom will be well enjoyed, if not slightly strange at first!

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