One day at a time

11 Jan

Hub asked me this evening if I still felt like a drink at night. Now, at 11pm? No would be the answer to that, and I’m pretty confident that even if someone suddenly turned up with wine I could turn it down – unless of course you were family or friends who I hadn’t seen for a year. Hell, then I’d want to pour us both a glass and bitch about disfunctional families, the woes of life and perhaps even talk about the ‘what would you do if you won the lotto’. I love that one.

But at 5pm or 6pm – that’s a harder time of day. Especially as I drove over to drop the DVDs off – with Shou and with Ryu. Hub had mailed to say he would be late because he was having a meeting with his boss and he didn’t know what time it would finish. His boss is completely not interested in working, and I doubt he would work any late nights if he could get out of it. He doesn’t have a very Japanese work ethic and quite possibly only made it up the ranks becasue of years in service and not ability. Not that that happens very often in Japan (coughs).

So I swang the car through the pachinko carpark.

Sometimes this shit is just too easy. Ya know, I almost want him to put a bit more effort in.

It was part of a game for the kids – we were playing a version of ‘car cricket’ where certain vehicles get different points. There was a concrete mixer of all things parked at the side of the pachinko carpark – 50 fuckin points that baby was. Very fortunate for me.

Or not, I guess.

None the wiser, to them, we passed daddy’s car as we swang past the concrete mixer to get the points.

I hate the lie. I don’t mind the pachinko so much. I’m hardly one to get all bitchy about wasting money when I would say we spent about 200 dollars a month on alcohol. But the lie. The pretending you are working while I am at home with three children. That fucks me off – not as much as it did when the kids were smaller. We have a routine now that works better when daddy is part of it – 70% of the time now he is out of the tax office. But if he’s late it still works.

So all the way home I have an internal struggle as we pass one conbini and then the next. Japan sells beer and chuhai in vending machines on the side of the god damn road too so I had to fight my inner self going past those as well.

  • Trying really hard GW: you don’t need it.
  • Inner self: you deserve it though.
  • Trying really hard GW: No I don’t. I deserve not to do it.
  • Inner self: fuckin lieing prick. If there’s a day you need a drink its when your husband lied about working in favor of pachinko.
  • Trying really hard GW: Fuck I reckon. NO. I can do this.
  • Inner self: there’s the conbini with the strong chuhais…
  • Trying really hard GW: …. …. I think I can, I think I can.
  • swoosh (sound of car driving straight on by honey)
  • Inner self: don’t worry, there’s another one in five minutes
  • Trying really hard GW: wonder if I should take the mountain road
  • Inner self: 2 minutes to ETA
  • Trying really hard GW: nah, I’ll probably hit a wild pig. I wonder how the mother who works in the next conbini is. Haven’t see her for a while…
  • Inner self: fuck you’re an easy target.
  • swoosh
  • Inner self: you know the supermarket will still be open when we drive by
  • Shou: hey mum, can you put on Girlfriend
  • Trying really hard GW: Sure darling.
  • Shou, Ryu and Mum: hey hey you you I don’t like your girlfriend… …..
  • swoosh
  • Mummy: home boys. Whose going to get in the bath with mummy
  • Boys: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

I don’t think that would have happend a week ago. I have the credit of the last 11 days for that strength today. And that dangling carrot to look forward to in 10 sleeps 🙂

Husband’s face when you quietly mention the meeting he must have had with his boss at the pachinko parlor?

Like a dog with his tail between his legs looking ashamed for getting caught shitting on the white carpet.

Feeling of knowing you can get past something that you wouldn’t have been able to a week ago?

Priceless.

I’m doing this folks.

Sweet dreams, Good health, & Quiet living.

SDGH&QL

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36 Responses to “One day at a time”

  1. Judy K. January 11, 2014 at 2:56 pm #

    Good for you! Sending you a big high five and positive energy for continued willpower.

  2. Judy K. January 11, 2014 at 2:58 pm #

    Willpower for both resisting the chuhais and for not killing your husband! 😉

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:40 pm #

      Thank you Judy 🙂 I’ll have to have a proper talk with hub after I get back. If the kids hadn’t been in the car I would have moved his car and perhaps slashed a tyre – well probably not the tyre as then I’d probably be the one going to get him!

      • Judy K. January 12, 2014 at 12:07 am #

        Oh, moving his car and then sticking around to watch him hunt for it would have been such fun!

  3. Susie January 11, 2014 at 2:59 pm #

    Way to go!!!

    I had me a frustrating morning that I would have had to get a drink for… but my frustration came at 6 am right before I had to leave for work to put in another emergency 13 hour day. I knew he had stayed up all night drinking playing his silly war games on the computer. And I know it’s Saturday but that means there will be a hung over hubby in bed while a misbehaved 10 year old runs around destroying my house. And I will be at work all day stirring in my anger. I have half a mind to stop at the pub on my way home, ya know, just to show him! But alas I know I will be tired and I expect a 3rd day of emergency OT to clock into Sunday. No weekend break for me this week. Ugh such is the life of the bread winner I suppose.

    All I want is to come home to have my carpets shampooed and my bathroom sparkling, is that too much to ask? Aye, men…. can’t live with them and can’t live with out them. What was that saying, “Why buy the pig when all you need is a little sausage?”

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:41 pm #

      having a hub who spent most of his free time on his phone or playing video games at home, in front of the kids, while I was doing the mother and housey thing would fuck me off no end too. Good luck with that!

  4. Grace January 11, 2014 at 3:17 pm #

    Go GW, am seriously proud of you! Put aside all the money you have saved from not buying alcohol and buy yourself something really nice when you are in NZ, or go for a Spa day…. Or something like that. xx

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:42 pm #

      Thanks Grace. I have bought a few things already and apart from one afternoon shopping in Auckland (where I imagine I will get kids clothes for next summer!) I’m not planning on hitting the shops. Still don’t know what to wear to this wedding though. Gahhhhh.

  5. Rae Mitchell January 11, 2014 at 7:24 pm #

    So proud of you.x

  6. midorijoanne January 11, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

    Well done on sticking out the no booze thing, even in the face of a pachinko lie! The lying about meetings would drive me up the wall so I feel your pain!! Mal is a crap liar and can’t even get away with grabbing a pint on the way home from work without me knowing so he doesn’t bother anymore- he just tells me what he is doing or doesn’t go!

    Sorry I haven’t been commenting much- hard to type much on my ipad/iphone while BFing but Mal bought me a computer for my birthday so I am going to make more of an effort to write now. I have been following you though- I am so glad you kept blogging! 🙂

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:46 pm #

      Thank you Midori 🙂 ‘Just telling me’ would be has safest road of action! I found BFing and doing anything else sitting down only worked if I had a BFpillow – those half round big Japanese ones. Bloody gold 🙂

  7. Leash January 11, 2014 at 8:51 pm #

    Woohoo go you! Well done!
    Love the comparison of hubs look to that of an untrained dog lol

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:48 pm #

      Thanks! I mean seriously, does he really think he can get away with it? I think he stops for a while after a ‘catching’, then goes once or twice, maybe after something legit late at work, just for an hour, and then that sneaks back to being a bold prick and the straight out lie. Gah, the frustration. But I feel like I can’t really get completely down on him until I am completely better about my ‘vice’.

  8. Adam W January 11, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    Yayy! I feel bad you have to see my posts on Facebook now, since 90% of my statuses are ridiculous ones involving alcohol. Your husband’s face must have been priceless, btw.

    • gaijinwife January 11, 2014 at 11:49 pm #

      Your posts don’t automatically show up in my feed!! I’ll have to go and have a look now and see how much ‘fun’ you’ve been having :p

  9. Jenni January 12, 2014 at 2:54 am #

    Well done, GW. Respect.

  10. mimi January 12, 2014 at 4:24 am #

    Well done, Katy

  11. Sarah K January 12, 2014 at 6:17 am #

    Good for you 🙂

  12. Brenda in Nagano January 12, 2014 at 7:14 am #

    I wish there was a ‘like’ button for this post. I think your husband thinks that he HAS to lie about pachinko. That that is the rule. Considering you are leaving on your own for 10 days, if he had just said “can I go waste an hour?” how likely is it you would have said no? Men really don’t think, do they? You are doing so fabulously! Not sure I could give up chocolate or coffee for two days let alone 10!

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:15 am #

      Thanks Brenda. And exactly, if he would just bloody well ask – or tell, I’m not fussed. But knowing prior to the event would be nice.

  13. michele January 12, 2014 at 8:30 am #

    So very awesome! I don’t do well in those situations- I see red almost immediately. Im I impressed with the internal battle you had and the driving straight past all the stores and vending machines. 🙂 love the idea of saving up the money that would’ve been spent on alcohol and splurging. I’d do a full blown, pamper me spa day. 😉

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:17 am #

      Thank you Michele. It was hard. Had to fight myself the whole bloody way home! Am having a few different girl treats including nails and lashes and the likes. Friend evne has us booked in for a High Tea which I’ve never had to all very exciting 🙂

  14. kiwiandrea January 12, 2014 at 11:01 am #

    You just passed the ultimate test – absolute legendary effort!

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:17 am #

      Thank you Andrea! Unfortunately it wasn’t the ‘ultimate’ test – as I found out on Sunday but at the time it did feel like a legendary accomplishment 🙂

  15. Denise January 12, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

    Just love this post! The great thing is the victory over habit and temptation gives you even more strength and confidence to continue 🙂 Had to laugh at your description of caught-out hub too.

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:19 am #

      It definitely was a big hurdle. The next hurdle was a whole night where hub was away. Not such a legendary effort I’m affraid but wasn’t difficult picking self up and brushing self off and carrying on. 2013 me would have just seen it as failure. full stop. Tis not failure, is small glitch in master plan 🙂

      • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:20 am #

        although I’m still very fucked off at self and hole in will power wall of fabulousness. Ah well.

  16. Fiona Shinohara January 13, 2014 at 3:28 am #

    next time I say you buy some pachinko money and casually go and sit beside him and start to play… good on you for not drinking. Ill try it one day.. 😉

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:21 am #

      That would have to be the best idea yet I think 🙂

  17. Ruth January 13, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    Inspirational!!! My Monday morning resolution is now now mid-week chocolates or treats. If you can cold turkey I can limit myself to the weekends 😉

    • gaijinwife January 16, 2014 at 1:21 am #

      Ganbare. Perhaps I shouldn’t fill up the Arashi mag box with chocolate then :p

  18. chrysanthemummum January 17, 2014 at 12:12 pm #

    Self control of the highest order. Well done – for not listening to your inner self and for not acting on your impulse to slash his tyres. I would have caved probably in a similar situation and I would have definitely made my presence known in that car park. (and regretted it later) Your reaction and response was very classy indeed.

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Mrs D Is Going Without

Too much wine in rural Japan

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