1: High Toes and High Teas

1 Feb

After my sister’s fabulous welcome at the airport we went out for kofeeeeei – at a child friendly cafe that have actually been to before. Tis great place where nobody blinks an eye if kids are yelling or running round. There is a great corner set up for playing and loads of handy towels on hand for spills and whatnot. If you’re lucky a few sparrows will fly in the huge open windows and make the experience that little bit more natural, ya know. If I could remember the name of the damn place I’d plug it more!

Next stop – friend’s house, where I had a shower and freshened up while she took daughter to lunch date with daddy. She then returned sans offspring and we proceeded to high toes and high teas.

I used to HATE anybody touching my feet. Would get all ticklish just at the thought. The first time I ever had a ‘pedi’ I was horrified and felt almost physically sick that somebody had to endure dealing with my heinous feet.

And then I had to pay for it and immediately felt slightly less horrified and wish I had tried to enjoy it more!

My friend got the shop owner, and I got the new Irish trainee girl – who I might add, I had a fabulous time telling all about the Janet Devlin home concert pissed online fuckup from last year. Sorry if you missed that post, it was quite entertaining at the time. And of course high toe girl is Irish and therefore just MUST be best friends or cousins with Janet who is from Northern Island, and therefore quite possibly involved with IRA, who have meetings out the back of butcheries in Belfast. Who knows? Stranger things have probably happened.

Half way through my heinous toes being painted a fabulous gold, a woman came in – a regular, who I just wildly assume spends more time at nail salons and getting her hair done in the space of a month than I would do in quite possibly ten years. She was rabbiting on about some ‘black american woman from that next top model show’ – whose name she couldn’t recall, but who she sat next to the other day at some thing.

Apologies Tyra. Obviously next top model is more viewer friendly for stay at home overweight mum types. Probably too actually depressing for this woman who sat beside you and probably started bleating about shit you didn’t want to hear. SIGH, I NEVER get to just by chance happen to sit beside celebrities.

Anyhoo, fabulous high toes done and we head out to High Tea.

I was a high tea virgin so it was all rather exciting.

Was slightly disappointed that I wasn’t expected to wear a garden party dress and wide-brimmed hat but nevermind. Spent well over an hour  trying to remember NOT to slurp my tea and eating dainty pastries and shot glasses full of deconstructed Pavlova and the like. We were absolutely stuffed by the end of the three-tiered high tea cake thingy. No way in this earthly world were we going to fit in a couple of scones, jam and clotted cream too.

So we asked if we could take the scones home.

Sorry mam, we don’t offer that service here. We were told.


So yes, in retrospect we should have just had them bring the scones out and then wrapped them up in a serviette and stuffed them in our handbags. But damn! We’ve just paid 50 dollars a piece to have tea and dainty pastries and you are refusing to do a take out on the scones?

Ah well, was too full to argue. And besides, the catch up with friend, the fabulous salmon thing on the bottom tier, and the two gay teenage boys beside us were well worth the price tag. One of the friends was very loud, and obviously thought himself to be very fabulous. He was trying to get information from his ‘friend’ who still hadn’t told him anything about his family and tis quite real possibility they just met online and this was their first meeting IRL – a High Tea.

Rest of day one was spent  with friend, me doing absolutely nothing to help while she prepared her hub’s birthday dinner – unless you count coloring in rainbow numbers on birthday cards and playing hide the red plastic ball in the tea-cup game as help 🙂

Had the BEST sleep that night – what with not getting much sleep the night before due to thinking perhaps the upstairs part of the plane, with all the business class dickheads like self, gets sucked off first in turbulence.

Stay tuned for the fun and games of day 2 – Surprises and Silliness



7 Responses to “1: High Toes and High Teas”

  1. Susan February 1, 2014 at 3:59 pm #

    Welcome back! You’ve been missed and I cannot wait to hear about the rest of your trip. Vicariously enjoying your travels as it’s absolutely arctic cold here and I’m not going anywhere until Eastertime. I absolutely love a pedi, despite queasiness at someone handling my awful feet. Money well spent.

    • gaijinwife February 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm #

      Thank you Susan. Must say my toes still look fabulous and gold. Perhaps will try and attend feet this year and make sure they are painted whole year. Not always in gold of course 🙂

  2. Adam W February 2, 2014 at 5:17 am #

    First time I had a pedi, I nearly kicked the woman that did. Can’t handle them. Also, high tea is the gayest thing ever and it’s amazing. I would totally go to high tea on a first date. Glad you enjoyed yourself!

    • gaijinwife February 3, 2014 at 12:55 am #

      It seems to be the on trend (in trend? trendy?) thing to do – well actually I might have even missed the height of its trend but still, something that needed to be experienced. So whats High Tea like in the states? I just presume ya’ll have to put on a British accent 🙂

  3. Kathryn OHalloran February 5, 2014 at 10:01 am #

    The scones probably would’ve been shit by the time you got them home anyway. I love it when you spot people out on obvious internet dating first dates. You can always pick them.

    • gaijinwife February 5, 2014 at 10:20 am #

      true. I wish they had come out first 🙂

      • T in Tokyo February 7, 2014 at 2:43 am #

        Had to do a double take, then realised you were talking about the scones 🙂

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