Real Dance Moms

29 Apr

Wow, I think I had my first true ‘Dance Moms’ moment today. I felt myself getting all hot in the face and had to actually leave the room and walk down the hall a few times I was that fucked off. Stupid cow. FFS. You are now going to get a (long) recap of silly bollocky dance bollocks.

We have a recital in a week. There was one dance that they were ‘supposedly’ doing but that had only been half choreographed by Saturday class. The little girls like Marina are only on for about 2 minutes and so she knew half of the routine. It isn’t hard. They wear overalls and jump around a bit for Christ sake.

On Sunday was CATS – which the dance teacher extremely strongly urged us all to buy tickets for in December. I’m not particularly a go-and-spend-two-hours-watching-a-musical type of person but bought Marina and I tickets as otherwise obviously all ounces of dance ‘heart’ would be leaked out of Marina and I would go to my grave forever regretting not letting her go and see fuckin CATS (but actually musical itself was quite good although still not entirely sure how it came about being made into a musical in the first place)

Fukuoka is three hours away so I decided (in January) to make it into a girl’s weekend and booked a hotel for the two of us. A nice hotel, so decided to miss ONE dance lesson the day before and head up for a spot of shopping and enjoy nice bath in hotel room etcetera.

In February we get told about the recital next week.

Last week we get told we have to pay 6,000 yen for a white tank top and denim overalls for the half-finished dance choreographed by the daughter (bit younger than me) – the daughter who has for the last three weeks been sick and not coming and therefore not choreographing her fuckin dance.

Oh, we also need white shoes, which I plan on buying over the Fukuoka weekend.

Get to dance today – Tuesday, not even a bloody dance day but have an extra lesson. Get overalls and promptly write name on them. Then have to give the daughter teacher HERSELF 180 yen for a bloody white ribbon for the same dance.

As the girls are getting dressed to start and Marina is in her overalls and shoes the daughter teacher comes over and sits down next to Marina and tells her that she will not be in the dance because she choreographed the rest of it on Saturday and Marina didn’t come so she can’t do the dance.

She says not to worry though, as she can learn it for the recital in August – which we wont be here for obviously. I start to take the ‘just right fit’ overalls off and tell Marina (in that way where really you are telling an adult something through your child way) that it was a shame mummy just spent 6,000 yen on these isn’t it. The mother beside me was the one that ordered the overalls and the one I expressed my concern that the dance would even happen in the first place as only half choreographed (at time ordered clothes) and therefore Marina wouldn’t need these expensive bloody overalls until next year which would mean should order next size up.

She quickly said (cause she could see I was fucking mad) she would change them with the other girl who wasn’t in it this time (cause she had only started dance two weeks ago) and then Marina would have the next size up. I am thankful for that at least. It isn’t the mum’s fault in any way shape or form and I shouldn’t have even got grumpy at her.

Then, five minutes later during the hip hop dance the teacher praises Marina for remembering it so fast and asks her daughter if she could do this other bloody dance because she could probably remember the next minute in three lessons – as really is only more jumping and arm waving the same as the first minute. The daughter says no, she missed one class, she isn’t in the dance.

This is HER, punishing ME for choosing to go to Fukuoka early for the bloody fucking musical we were made to buy tickets for.

I am WILD with rage. I had to leave pretty much straight away to cool down. Bet they go home and say haha, that’ll teach Katy for not having adequate level of dance ‘kokoro’ (heart).

Am actually typing this in the dance hall as sensei goes off at the older girls for not being able to pirouette properly.

Am buying wine on way home and may well just skull straight from the bottle. Fortunately Marina is keen to quit. Guess she can use the white shoes for hip hop (fortunately bought VANS and not pissy white sneakers). She can have a career in hip hop.

Sorry for silly ballet rant but damn I hate adults that use children to punish another adult. And then fuckin praise Marina for being so good at remembering choreography but don’t let her even try. Way to confuse a girl.

End rant.

Edit – the head teacher made one last attempt to convince her daughter Marina should be allowed to dance, but to no avail. Her daughter’s response – I know she could learn it in time, that isn’t the point.

Poor Marina. Getting told she ‘could’ dance it but isn’t allowed because her mum took her to Fukuoka a day early to see a musical her dance teacher told her she had to go to!!

Then, as class ends and the girls are standing on point in line waiting for the teacher to say ‘the end’ – the teacher says again how much of a shame it is Marina can’t dance and isn’t she lucky she got to spend a night in nice hotel.

Upon telling hub about the affairs of the evening he said he could understand where they are coming from. I said I could too but there is a normal adult way of doing things and there is a stupid fucking dumb mean way of doing things.

Edit part II

I got home, had a chuhai and emailed the head teacher to apologize for angry ass ‘otsukaresama’ (with death eyes included) as shouldn’t really be angry at her as she tried to get Marina the dance and her daughter was just being a bitch.

My email: Sorry for being rude to you after class when I said goodbye. You wanted Marina to do the dance and I shouldn’t have been angry at you. I saw Marina, AFTER we had bought everything, after she had changed into everything and just as she was about to dance, get told she wouldn’t be dancing, look sad, and I got angry. I think I should have been told sooner. It was my choice to go to Fukuoka a day early and I know that choosing that over dance wasn’t good but Marina had nothing to do with it. Telling girls this kind of thing just as they are about to go on for a dress rehersal might be R-sensei’s (her daughter’s) way but it surprised me. Sorry for such a long email. I’ll be fine tomorrow. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

Her reply: We both regret how we handled things. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. We should have told you sooner. I apologize. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Good night.

Hub is kind of in shock that I can get that worked up over bloody dance. Fortunately he does agree with me on the way things should be handled. Lucky for him because if he didn’t our ten-year anniversary tomorrow would be fun for nothing :p

Would have to down that bottle of Moet on own as cursing gods of ballet bollocks and agreeing husbands 😉

SDGH&QL

PS – another girl was absent on Saturday and will not be dancing said dance either – although am pretty sure this is teacher’s way of punishing her mum for bringing daughter to class the previous Wednesday when clearly still sick – and which ended in her vomiting all over the back of Marina and dance being cancelled five minutes after it started. Feel even more sorry for her. End of class was ‘so thats the end of class. Really is a shame H-chan and Marina can’t dance. H-chan was sick and missed class and Marina stayed in a nice hotel”

Fuck, I’m still really pissed off!!

Hub thinks the daughter teacher will turn round and actually tell Marina she is dancing it today – its Wednesday. Dance day. On the way home from the ‘tokubetsu (special) lesson’ last night Marina said it wasn’t very special was it. Hope she says that to the teacher tonight :p

 

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18 Responses to “Real Dance Moms”

  1. littlebelgianwriter April 29, 2014 at 2:08 pm #

    Happy Anniversary to you both! And, for what it is worth, I would have been mad at that daughter sensei too!

  2. kitakyushu April 29, 2014 at 2:44 pm #

    That’s insane. You should have gone all Christy on her (from DM fame)…she would have regretted that! What a b*tch.

    • gaijinwife April 30, 2014 at 1:37 pm #

      OMG, I so should have 🙂 The weird thing is I actually thing that the other mom’s are in the ‘well of course she shouldn’t do the dance, she chose to stay in a nice hotel instead’ corner – completely missing the fact she waited a week to tell us. The dance teacher is always on about us being a fuckin ‘family’ and yet no mums stick up for each other. Its a dance teacher nazi camp.

      • kitakyushu May 1, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

        That’s how the dance teachers work…divide and conquer. Watch your back!

  3. mimi April 29, 2014 at 10:56 pm #

    Happy Anniversary to you both. Teachers behaviour was outrageous. Not the way to handle things at all..

    • gaijinwife April 30, 2014 at 1:34 pm #

      Thank you mimi. definitely childish behavior by an adult 101 right there.

  4. Tracy April 30, 2014 at 2:55 am #

    I think you actually showed remarkable restraint. It is completely unfair on poor Marina.

    • gaijinwife April 30, 2014 at 1:33 pm #

      indeed. Thank you. Although must admit have had conversation in head with daughter teacher all day and one version includes her actually slapping me and me getting to feel all rightious and ‘look other mother’s, you are having your daughters being taught by this piece of work’ …..

      • Tracy May 2, 2014 at 12:32 am #

        Or better still – you slap her & the other Mothers all cheer and confess that is what they have been dreaming of doing 🙂

  5. melissayears April 30, 2014 at 1:24 pm #

    Wow, how frustrating.

    On a positive note, I finally found the link to your blog buried somewhere in the dark depths of my Yahoo e-mail account. I think you sent it about four months ago =/ But anyhow, it was an awesome surprise so yay for being able to read your stories again!

  6. Sarah April 30, 2014 at 2:39 pm #

    Good god, I am seething on your behalf. That daughter is an immature passive-aggressive biatch. I love the fact that you wrote that email though, and that sensei actually apologised for her daughter’s crappy behaviour.

    • gaijinwife May 7, 2014 at 12:35 am #

      definitely an immature passive-aggressive biatch. Well described 🙂

  7. Brenda in Nagano May 1, 2014 at 1:09 pm #

    What a bitch! I can’t believe she would speak like that *to the children*!! Poor Marina being made to feel like she did something wrong, when she is totally innocent in all of this! Not that you did anything wrong either! GAH!! I want to slap the woman!

    • gaijinwife May 7, 2014 at 12:35 am #

      I just read in her ‘oshirase’ note that they write and draw pictures in for school ‘yesterday Rina-sensei said something to me that made me sad and upset’ – poor wee thing 😦 She seems fine now but 🙂 Feel free to come down and slap her.

  8. Kathryn May 6, 2014 at 1:33 pm #

    Have you ever considered that the dance teachers might be mentally unwell? I mean FFS, they are kids doing a dance recital.

    I can totally understand your anger. I still get angry over my son not getting a cricket trophy because he went to Tassie to stay with his grandmother over a couple of weeks over Christmas even though he had by far the best bowling stats in the team. And that was many years ago now.

    • gaijinwife May 7, 2014 at 12:33 am #

      Yes 🙂 definitely might be a bit of bi-polar something going on there! I could understand ‘punishing’ the person if they were a pro team or something, but not children! Bet your son isn’t still upset not getting the trophy? Marina has pretty much forgotten already.

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Mrs D Is Going Without

Too much wine in rural Japan

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