Awkward Moments

8 Jun

After living here for something like 16 years I have gotten used to a lot of the ‘awkward’ moments that come with living in Japan and being a gaijin, and having huge boobs, and understanding more than people think you can, or not understanding enough yaddah yaddah.

But last week I had a couple of moments I hadn’t had before – and actually they had nothing to do with being foreign, language skills, or big boobs – I don’t think.

Ryu and I have been walking with the school walking bus, more often than not. Half way to school there is a fork and if you go  one way you follow the main road with the guard-rail and this is the way the school walking bus has to walk. It ends at an intersection where the principal stands each morning and which all the groups bar one pass through. The other way the road is smaller but there are more crabs, snails, frogs, the odd turtle… it is also the road most people drive down to the school and kinder because it avoids the set of traffic lights.

So Ryu and I have just passed the house of the man who has a pet dove, the one he once took to the supermarket in his car and which shat about ten times over his upholstery while he was shopping, that one, when one of Ryu’s little friends drives past with no seatbelt on and half hanging out the passenger seat window – not an unusual sight in Japan – and yells out they should give us a lift the rest of the way.

I say that its OK because we like walking.

We get round the next corner and she comes running up to us. Her dad has stopped the car in the community hall car park, beside the school, which is then beside the kinder. She comes up and holds my other hand. Just as we round the walk to the kinder car park and up to the gate she tells her dad to hold her other hand so we rock up to the kinder teachers seeing me and her dad kind of half skipping half dancing N-chan along. It was all fine until her dad held her other hand and then it just felt all wrong but she wouldn’t let go of my hand, so we both kind of sent her off to kinder for the day. Mmmm, awkward.

Awkward number two was waiting at the meeting point for the last girl in the walking bus to turn up. She is perpetually late every fuckin single day. HTB’s mum asks me if I knew about the ‘promise’ the boys have for playing together on Saturday – the next day. I say no and then ask Shou what its about. I then apologize to his mum because we have ‘plans’ and he won’t be able to go. In reality it is Ryu’s birthday and this is the first year I said he could invite who HE wanted and not who I encouraged – which up until this year included HTB’s little sister who is the same age as Ryu. Anyhow she didn’t make the cut and even after a few suggestions that he invite her he was adamant that he didn’t want her to come and I had to let it go.

She has come the last three years and HTB comes to Shou’s parties. I mean they live about 500m up past our house. To go anywhere they have to go past our house, kids running round and balloons on the gate.

Then Shou tells HTB that its Ryu’s birthday party and a, b, and c, are coming and mum is making a cool cake and thus he can’t play with him. I mean if I had the reserves in my tank I would have just invited HTB and his little sister but I was anticipating a bit of chaos alone with six 5-year olds, Shou and Marina as it was.

And it was – chaos. Mainly because hub decided to go for a run and then come home and take a three hour nap – which basically meant I had to supervise the inside and outside groups and try not to throttle Shou for completely ruining the treasure hunt for the little kids, blowing out the candles first rah rah.

Anyhoo, HTB’s mum apparently thought it was just boys and that’s why her daughter wasn’t invited – well, until she drove past on the day and saw a girl from the class above Ryu’s. An older woman. Sigh. She was the first name out of his mouth when asked who he wanted to invite 🙂 Lovely little girl though.

And the cake…


It’s a character called ‘Jibanyan’ off a Japanese ‘anime’ called Yokai Watch. Shou’s birthday next week so here’s hoping this didn’t take all my creative juices. Now if someone could just feel like making me a bloody cake too!!



3 Responses to “Awkward Moments”

  1. Tash June 8, 2014 at 9:45 am #

    Naw, I’ll make you a cake. I’ll eat it for you too, seeing as how it probably won’t keep till July 😉

    • gaijinwife June 8, 2014 at 11:14 am #

      thanks man 🙂 I mean I could make my own or request hub buys me one but its not really the cake, its the thought of somebody else doing something 😦 sigh. He is quite good though. Might get me some flowers instead 🙂 See. you. sooooooooooon.

  2. Mrs. N June 13, 2014 at 3:08 pm #

    Happy Birthday! In advance? Am I late?
    I was sitting in the airport in Tokyo on Tuesday and I think I read 15 of your blog posts….that night I had this nightmare about a 50 foot mukade that had the head of a snake. I think it was the post where you wrote about Marina getting bit. My daughter’s house doesn’t have all the mushi that we do….as soon as I got home again and walked in I started scanning the walls….funny. Anyhoo….have a great trip home! Looking forward to reading about your antics there. xxoo

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