Can’t stop yawning.

21 Jun

Half ten and I am bloody knackered…

A couple of months ago a woman I used to teach English to  stopped me in the supermarket car park and said we should have a BBQ – at my house. We had one many years ago – like about five, when I might have had three kids even, but I think maybe when Shou was 2 and Marina one. No, no, that can’t be right, cause I would have been pregnant with Ryu and I do remember drinking. Hmmmmm. Anyhoo, years ago.

When I worked here in my days of drunken shennanigans as a CIR I taught an adult’s English class every week and a group of them would often got out together and I’d get invited and we became friends.

Well, friends to the extent that I quite enjoy catching up but wouldn’t ring them up to go for a coffee.

So, I said yes to the BBQ.

A few weeks later I get an email saying my house has been ditched because the doctor’s wife has offered their place and they have proper Japanese yakiniku facilities – we used to have an awesome big outside table with a lid that opened up to a coal pit to light the coals and put a grill to all sit round and cook meat, drink and be merry. The builder with the Russian porn collection who lives down the road built it for us as a house warming gift. Was AWESOME and I really do need to commission him to makes us another.

Anyway, that day fell through and I just presumed nothing would actually eventuate before we leave for NZ.

And then last week she says how about the 21st? I say OK, but stupidly presume she means the doctor’s house. Fortunately I confirm the next day and get told no, no, your place – oh and we are inviting so and so  and his new wife as a kind of celebration on their marriage – which I might add none of us got invited to celebrate officially.

Fast forward today…

Hub has work and is out from 8am, so I have three kids while I clean the house (the serious stuff got done yesterday though) do the shopping for 9 adults and 5 children, prepare NZ-style BBQ and basically just get ready to play hostess with the mostess.

I told her we couldn’t do the Japanese BBZ so it would be NZ style and we discussed that everyone would give me money for all the ingredients.

The kids were relatively good. I got the shopping done, I marinated spare ribs, chicken drum sticks, shrimps, and beef for the kebabs. I made two salads and two dips. FUCK, and a bacon and egg pie.

I literally spent the whole day organizing this meal while trying to navigate the vacuum cleaner around 6 legs and sometimes six hands, depending on what state of handstand there were in off the couch.

So then 6pm rolls around and they all start rocking up. I’ve cooked sausages for the kids and have the chicken on cause it will take the longest. The spare ribs are in the oven. One guy, who I know is just trying to help, ferries things between the BBQ and the inside table (its pissing down) and then tells everyone to start eating while its hot – which then leads hub to whispering at me ‘why isn’t everything ready?’

FFS. Its a BBQ that is this wide and yay long. Give me ten fuckin minutes and my whole day will come together on that fricken table. Japanese people eat cold food every fricken day. Wait for ten bloody minutes. But I didn’t say anything cause am fabulous hostess.

Before everyone starts eating hub tells me to tell everyone to do a toast. I mean seriously? Its a NZ fucking BBQ and if YOU feel the need to start the Japanese proceedings off then by all means….. so anyway the original woman who wanted the whole meal in the first place said a toast.

Said the whole thing was in my honer cause was going back to NZ and nobody would see me for six months…

I actually said what? This is for me? I thought it was to celebrate the marriage of those two?

When everyone left at half nine (praise the bloody lord) hub said he was surprised at my restraint for not saying something along the lines of …

‘WTF? This dinner is for me? In my house? For which I have bought, made and cooked EVERYTHING for 15 people? This was for me? Oh my, what an honor…. ‘

I enjoy talking with these people on occasion, especially the one couple with kids, but dang the woman that ‘organized’ it … she can be the kind of person that brings up all the news stories where foreigners in Japan do bad shit. That, and she touches me a lot – squeezes up and down my arms and declares how squishy I am. Kind of shit.

I’m a fucking mazed I put up with it.

So they all left at half nine – mainly cause I had put my kids to bed and the one couple with two kids had to get home.  And then I spent at hour cleaning up.

Hub said he thought the $15 per person that we worked it out at was too much – especially as two bottles of cheap red wine and some ice-cream got left behind.

Me? It was originally $20 a head but I knew I wouldn’t spend that much and money wise it was probably more like $10 but fuck it. I spent a good six hours doing the shopping and getting shit ready (did I mention the cheesecake brownie??) and then cleaning up.

And now I’m bloody knackered and need a nice glass of wine in the bath.

Must also remind self to turn down any invitations at own house from this woman upon my return from NZ…





12 Responses to “Can’t stop yawning.”

  1. aurora94 June 21, 2014 at 4:41 pm #

    Insanity! When are you leaving for NZ btw??

    • gaijinwife June 22, 2014 at 2:24 am #

      This time next month the kids will be starting to speak Kiwi at school in NZ… wahooooo. shit. Still much to do!!

  2. merry June 21, 2014 at 10:12 pm #

    Holy crap. Did you at least thank yourself for the fabulous time?

    • gaijinwife June 22, 2014 at 2:23 am #

      LOL – yes. Had private toast to self honoring self and fabulous meal 🙂

  3. Deb June 22, 2014 at 7:13 am #

    ¥1500 for a BBQ dinner sounds like a bloody bargain! The left overs are perks for hosting, surely! Well done you, anyway. You’ve got the patience of a saint.

    • gaijinwife June 22, 2014 at 9:40 am #

      Perks, definitely. Just had leftover honey, mustard chicken. nom nom. After English in half an hour I will partake in left over wine…

  4. Tash June 22, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Oh that’s hilarious! I can’t believe it was all in your honour, and you had to do all the work!!! Snigger snigger snort!! 😀

    • gaijinwife June 22, 2014 at 9:39 am #

      Maki and I were like WTF? in my honor my bloody ass. Jeeze :p

  5. Elly June 22, 2014 at 3:03 pm #



    What an utterly bizarre thing to do to someone!

    Even if the main woman is a total weirdo (which she definitely sounds like), that still leaves 14 other people who were apparently OK with you slaving all day over a party that was supposed to be in your honor (O_o) Surely some of them felt bad about it? Did anyone bother to email you to say “sorry for making you do all the prep and work and stuff” afterwards?
    I’m beginning to think everyone in your neck of the woods is really, really strange…. something in the water??

    Your party menu sounds amazing btw (esp. the bacon and egg pie and cheesecake brownie, mmmm) 😀

    • gaijinwife June 22, 2014 at 10:53 pm #

      Am feeling a lot better about it today of course, now that I’m not knackered and pissed at having to cater for ‘my own’ party… :p All the shit that got left behind kind of makes up for it!

      The menu was pretty good, minus the potato salad. I have yet to find a great potato salad that I really like. The ribs, chicken and kebabs were nom nom.

      one lady was very ‘thank you, thank you’, another brought me a bottle of red wine, one of the couple brought enough icecreams for everyone (and then we all forgot about them – bonus), another couple are the nice couple with the kids and they brought snacks for all the kids, so really it was just the strange lady – who did actually email last night saying thank you, it was fun.

      guess I shouldn’t blog when I’m tired and a bit pissed off aye!! Everything is better the next day.

      • Liz Creasy June 24, 2014 at 8:59 pm #

        I have the absolute BEST recipe for potato salad…….I am from the south USA after all !! Am on the road right now (Seattle WA/Portland OR)( yeeeesssssss, trip of a lifetime) but will post when I get back home. Also have a very relevant comment to your next post. GBY&G (figure that one out 🙂 )
        Liz in GA

      • gaijinwife June 25, 2014 at 2:51 am #

        Thank you Liz – please do send me recipe! GBY&G… hmmmmmm

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