The Car

13 Jul

Hub has a little van. Its a nice van I guess, only a couple of years old and very very popular – which means if I’m doing a pachinko run to see if hard earned money is going down the pit into noisy, brain numbing, silver ball hell, then I actually have to go into the car park to check the number plate.

My car is an 8 seater dark-purple family wagon. Its a nice car too I guess, only a couple of years old and the right size to be ferrying kids and bikes and soccer teams and lots of suitcases to the airport.

3 children and clean car are not two things you would see in a sentence together are they? Hi, hows it going? My name’s Katy and I have 3 small children and a spotless car… …

fuck off.

Anyway, my car, on any given day (up until it annoys hub so much he has to clean it), has an assortment of shite such as books, umbrellas, odd socks, cracker wrappers, bike helmets, hats, homework, sticks, rocks, and if you’re really lucky maybe even a bloody grasshopper.  I do try and remember to take stuff inside with me and the kids are getting better at it too but damn, I swear shit just magically appears in there every bloody morning.

Today hub was going to take Shou to soccer, so yesterday he decided to de-shit the car and polish the hub caps, which are his pride and joy and the fact that he got them on my car and not his is still a mystery to me – because its not like I give a shit what hub caps are on there. Well, I do know why they are there but think tis stupid waste of money when he only drives the damn car once a week.

I digress.

He was clearing shit out of the car and visibly getting more and more pissed off every time he came in the front door to dump down more shit – all the time muttering shit like, THAT’S where my hat was, there’s the bloody nine of spades, how can one person have so little pride over the car they drive, yaddah yaddah.  I was in here translating and trying to ignore it as he had just gotten back from four hours of drinking at a wedding and I knew any conversation had the possibility of leading to an argument.

And then, you wouldn’t fuckin believe it, the sky is falling, Marina walks in with $10 and a huge smile on her face. She said daddy gave it to her. I asked him why. He said he could do what he wanted and if I was going to leave $10 in the damn car then she could have it.

Are you delusional husband?

I didn’t ‘leave’ $10 in the car. It wasn’t stuck down the back seat and even if it had been would you not think ‘score!’ and pocket it, shut the fuck up and not give it to our 6 year old to spite me? Guess where the money was?

In that little pocket slash drawer thing slash COIN HOLDER that a lot of cars have down beside the steering wheel. I admit that it is also sometimes home to tampons, lip gloss and rogue LEGOmen heads but for the love of god man. I put petrol in the car on Friday and it cost $90 and that was the change. I like knowing I have enough money for milk and bread or pickled daikon and seaweed or whatever – in the car. So that if I run out I have a back up and don’t have to raid the emergency evacuation bag.

I explained the situation to my 6 year old and politely got her to give me the money back, telling her that if her pissed father just randomly gave her money again to run it past mummy first. She then went back out to the car and I could here her and daddy saying something along the lines of ‘silly mummy’ and giggling like retarded hyenas. Grrrr.

Anyway, 3 more sleeps till we leave for NZ.




4 Responses to “The Car”

  1. merry July 13, 2014 at 11:40 pm #

    That’s something my kids’ dad would do. Sigh

  2. Susan July 15, 2014 at 11:31 pm #

    OMG OMG OMG Have just realized that if you posted this on the 13th & said three more sleeps …. that would be Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night (tonight) …. which of course according to the world time clock in my head means …. errr, well Tuesday night is already over in Japan and you are either on your way or getting ready to head out. I am so excited for you, I probably sound like a nut, but I truly am and please, please keep up with your blog as much as you are able while in NZ. And enjoy that time spent with your family – I mean the siblings, aunts, uncles, assorted relatives – whoever is around the area. Looking forward to hearing about your adventures and I wish you and the kids a safe & happy journey. Well, anyway a safe journey that’s over as soon as humanly possible.

  3. Adam W July 16, 2014 at 4:21 am #

    I gasped when I saw $90. Shit, I suppose filling my tank up would come out to be around $75 which is still a lot. But I run my car on $20, fumes, and a lot of hope and desperation. Omg, I’m so American… talking about gas prices. Have a great time in NZ! Sounds like you need a good vacation. 🙂

    • gaijinwife July 22, 2014 at 10:53 pm #

      Hi Adam. I guess our tank is pretty big. It used to cost more but it has gone down a bit, thank bloody god. The ‘vacation’ will be good. Even without the morning drills and reading at the school and English in the afternoon and endless running round after the kids for activities and I do, indeed, feel like I’m on holiday!

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