Catching Up

7 Oct

It’s true, I’m out of my blog mojo – but also realize that the rest of the world is too and therefore at least catching up is better than letting people read about your life for 7 years and then just stopping!! (read as anybody who has done that – you suck)

Last week me and the boys hit Cessnock – which is a small town in NSW in the land of kangaroos and koalas – of which we saw and patted both 🙂 Had great catch up with uni girlfriend who has recently had twins. Adorable, both of them but damn I don’t think I could go through that again – both in terms of mental wellness and sleeping and husband stuff. It’s like husbands think that as soon as their wife has babies, anything they do is being a good husband and in need of praise. Tis as if sitting round with your tits out tandam feeding two of your spawn on twenty minutes sleep isn’t enough… though will admit friend’s husband was very helpful (and an outstanding cook) – and Shou’s second most favorite time of the week was making, sawing and nailing shit in the man shed with the dad.

His first most bestest experience was the bats we saw on our last night. Oh, and the coolest water park ever with a huge bucket that fills with water and dumps it over everyone, and, and the tallest slide ever – although Shou claims it was only 100m long and the one we go to in Japan is 300m long!

In other news, I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. In itself, not a special piece of news. I didn’t flush because it was the middle of the night and inevitable I would be the first in the next morning anyway. Turns out Marina was first in – and spotted a bit of blood on some toilet paper and promptly came in to my room crying at 5am,  asking if I was dying. I said no – so she went in and proceeded to tell the other two about my bleeding fanny. A few theories were thrown around amongst the children during the day but they generally got distracted by going to test fly our boomerangs (I am SHIT – kids thought it was hilarious)

But then at bedtime they decided they needed the actual answer. Of course I had to intervene and then had to have one of ‘the’ talks – which turned into THE TALK of all time.

  • Shou: So why do you need to bleed out your fanny?
  • Mummy: Older girls do – for a few days every month.
  • Shou: Why? (marina was still in shock so Shou had to do the Q&A)
  • Mummy: so that if we want, we can have babies?
  • Shou: Do boys bleed out their fanny too?
  • Mummy: No.
  • Ryu: Does it hurt?
  • Mummy: No, but it can make me grumpy (and want to skull coffee, drink wine and send you all outside – not in that particular order).
  • Shou: (mind cogs turning) how does the blood lead to the baby?
  • Mummy: (fuuuuuuck) girls have eggs
  • Shou: like duck eggs?
  • Mummy: kind of but really small. They come down and get met by a man parade and they all travel safely up the tube to the baby party.
  • Shou: why do you bleed after a party?
  • Mummy: the bleeding doesn’t hurt, making babies doesn’t hurt – but if you don’t all shut the fuck up and go to sleep it will hurt.
  • Good night

Gah, parenting is HARD.



6 Responses to “Catching Up”

  1. Persnickety October 7, 2014 at 11:44 pm #

    Oh yes, the disappearing blogger act. There seems to be something in the air ( or water) this year! The ones that stop blogging are frustrating, but the ones who delete everything are worse, sort of a scorched earth policy.

  2. japanmama October 8, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

    Yep, trying to get my mono back too…and we have had THE talk with my biggest two. They find it all very bizarre.

  3. japanmama October 8, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

    Mojo…never mono…

  4. Anonymous October 8, 2014 at 6:07 pm #

    Well, if you had “the conversation” with the kiddies in English, you can be proud of their progress. Hang in there!

    • gaijinwife October 9, 2014 at 8:08 am #

      haha – that would be real progress indeed. Was in half and half so, getting there I guess 🙂 I can at least now use fanny and willy in English and they know!

  5. Merry October 13, 2014 at 5:46 am #

    I know I’m several days late but I had to tell you that I laughed until I cried. This is parenthood.
    My oldest kid asked where babies come from when I was on an important phone call.

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