PTA Bollocks (part #79)

12 Feb

I have just come back from an hour and a half of PTA. Joy joy. Japanese PTA is OTT PITA such a load of bollocks you just have to LOL.

I asked the principal this morning, after reading the first, second and third graders Super Duck, if there were any materials for the PTA that had been made and if so could I please have a copy so I could have a look at the bits that concern me and make sure I know exactly what is being said etc. I cope fine with the normal stuff but this year I am head of the 研修•指導部 (hmmm, research and support department) and knew I was going to have to get up in front of everyone and talk about the shit we did during the year.

He asked the vice-principal, who is in charge of such matters as making documents, and then said no. There were NO DOCUMENTS this evening and we would have a meeting in our departments to discuss how the year’s events went and any improvements that could be made for next year.

Now, for the uneducated, a meeting in Japan without paperwork, pre-paperwork and quite possibly 7 meetings to discuss what this paperwork will be, would be like hmmmmm (I did have ‘like an IS youtube video without a beheading’ but woke up this morning and thought I better change it as completely un PC, in PC? non PC?)

So I get there tonight and low AND behold there is a five page handout with a section on the dept I am head of. I get to my seat and there is an A3 size paper with the main events for our dept over the last year – and a column for things that went well etc – for us to fill in during our department bonding ‘reflection’ session – during which the same two people will speak and everyone else will intently study their paper cup of green tea.

The PTA starts with the PTA head doing a greeting and then the principal. Remember this is the principal that I saw on his first day at our school three years ago, in his pink slash poo brown slash seventies suit slash comb over and immediately thought he was suspicious and thus went AROUND the block to make sure he wasn’t still hanging around the school – only to then see another teacher who I knew greet him as ‘principal’.

He starts his greeting by saying ‘I need to apologize for something. I have been here for three years and’ …. and the first thing I thought of was that he was going to say he was being transferred and despite the fact I initially thought he was a psychopathic pedophile I was kinda sad, cause I’m used to him now and he is super enthusiastic about getting more English into the school and we can basically talk to each other like we’re old friends (this in itself is probably entirely inappropriate as there are lines drawn in the Japanese line of hierarchy sand and me chatting with the principal using verb forms I’d use with my girlfriends is quite bad form)

Instead he apologized for the rampant influenza that did the rounds at the school this year. It didn’t last year or the year before and obviously he felt somewhat responsible that nearly all our children sneezed all over each other during the potato digging festival.

Anyhoo, digress much?

Our department talked about the year and the 4th grade teacher wrote the notes (in beautiful hand writing because she knew I had to read it – I ‘should’ have taken the notes but she volunteered, bless her. I got about 30 seconds to go over them before I had to stand up and read them out. I guess the good thing about reading shit out here is that absolutely nobody is phased that you read exactly.what.is.on.the.bloody.paper – and in fact 90 percent of the entire PTA meeting could have been conducted by us reading the hand out in the privacy of our own home. Word for word recitation – even the kids have to do this kind of shit – its like they think its a good life skill.

But then I guess when you grow up and half to go to PTA and read shit out word for word….

its kind of relevant.

So that was my second to last PTA as dept head. Next time I have to read exactly the same thing in front of ALL the parents and teachers. Can I remind you that 90% of the parents are in the PTA committee – what with there only being 20 households for the 31 kids at the school. ALL the teachers are also on the committee.

Ah well, at least next time they hear me regurgitate the same shit they might appreciate that I’ve taken the material home with me to practice!!

We weren’t meant to – we had to hand the paper with our written notes on it to the vice principal so he could type them up (word for word) for the final PTA with all the parents – in two weeks. I asked him for a copy and he looked confused. So I said, just a copy, exactly how it is, with the lovely 4th grade teachers’ hand written notes, so I can acquaint myself with gems such as ‘neighborhood watch safety shelters’ and the like. Which I can read but which don’t slid off the tongue because I don’t ‘tend’ to use them in either my daily life or my translation work.

And that was an account of my first PTA thing in like 8 months. Everyone praised the fuck out of hub for taking over my duties whilst in NZ.

On that note – tickets booked, house booked, car booked, school told, bankrupt – check. Going back in July for 5 weeks 🙂

SDGH&QL

PS – It was influenza that Ryu had and none of the rest of us got it so if we now go and get it from HTB (who was away sick today because he sneezed over my entire English class yesterday and had a fever this morning) then fuck me. I am going to hole up in bed for a week with a sick Shou and Marina.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “PTA Bollocks (part #79)”

  1. Susan February 17, 2015 at 4:04 pm #

    Since you haven’t been around in a few days I hope HTB didn’t infect everyone. We’ve been pretty lucky here this winter …. and now that I actually typed that, we’ll get whammied!

    • gaijinwife February 17, 2015 at 11:08 pm #

      so far so good! (crosses fingers).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Mrs D Is Going Without

Too much wine in rural Japan

%d bloggers like this: