Prick Update

13 Mar

In response to all the fan mail and people saying they couldn’t eat, sleep or work with worry over what happened about the drawing pins I have decided to post an update. Sorry to keep you all hanging :p

You do realize that about 10,000 people in Africa have died between the pin incident and now.

Go donate.

I have already.

I am also saving polar bears, near extinct NZ lizards and random dogs in Afghanistan.

NOT that, Oh my god, any of those should be put into the realm of human lives being lost. Fuck. Do you know how hard it is to try and just write what spill forth from the brain these days? Frickin near on impossible. I am glad I was born into a generation that still remembers what it was like to have a conversation and talk shit about ANYTHING and not have it either recorded livestream on youtube, tweeted or messaged on FB and then screen shotted by a ‘friend’ who then stabbed you in the hard drive by then posting it to another ‘non’ friend group. Faaaark.

So, Marina and her feet pricks.

The school followed through on their word and it would seem that each child probably had at least 12 minutes of prick instruction on bullying and that the next time police will be called. Haha. It is almost one extreme (from the school blaming the after-school care and vice versa) to the other (calling in armed forces over a fuckin drawing pin). Never the mind though as I’m sure (crosses fingers) the dickwad who put the pins in her bloody shoes in the first place was shitting their pants at the time.

In other completely irrelevant news I am currently bleeding my small internal organs out my fanny. I swear, and you have heard me all swear this before, that the older I get, the more internal organs I lose out my vagina. It can’t all be uterus lining and rejected eggs, it just can’t. Sometimes, like this morning, I actually have to physically resist the urge to tell hub to come into the toilet and show him exactly why I didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed. See that big clump of lining at the bottom of the bowl? That is me NEEDING some coffee, some support, and some fucking backing up the truck on the twat comments about taking too long in the toilet. I am quite happy to fling my fanny round the living room if it will make you more understanding. You. Cunt. Seriously, today was a tampon, AND pad, ten minute type of day.

I envy girls with light flows!! I have always had heavy flows and I guess the only thing I can hope for is that some of that flow now includes excess fat cells the uterus or small organs pick up along their way out the saloon doors!!

I do not apologize to my male readers. Hug your girlfriend or your wife, or if you are really brave, any random woman and say WOW, you are awesome!!!

Then buy them chocolate, coffee and wine. Do NOT ask for or expect sex on an ‘internal organ hemorrhage’ day. It isn’t just a ‘bit of blood’. Should we put a towel down love? NO. Love doesn’t want a fuckin towel down. She wants the towel stuffed between her legs so she doesn’t have to wash the bloody sheets in the morning.

When hub tried to get a leg over last night I said NAH, sorry love, bleeding out my fanny. And he said?

Thank god last night was business time then.







19 Responses to “Prick Update”

  1. Jennifer Arthur March 13, 2015 at 2:33 pm #


    Lurker here. In the US, they ablate the uterine lining with an RF machine. Does the trick without a hysterectomy. You rock.

    Jennifer Arthur 336.671.4808


    • gaijinwife March 13, 2015 at 10:51 pm #

      Jennifer, what is an RF machine? Does it just vacuum suck every though out?

      • Jen in Chch March 14, 2015 at 3:52 am #

        That is so spooky (jennifer’s comment). I have just been scheduled for surgery in July with RF (radio frequency). The product is called Novasure. They put a tube up your fanny and this little mesh net comes out and goes all round your uterus. Then they zap the net with radio waves and it should ablate all the endometrial tissue. Then the net gets pulled out again (nothing left inside). 70% of women have no periods at all afterwards, the rest get much lighter ones. My periods are long and heavy, so here’s hoping!! I wonder if it’s available in Japan.

  2. Ruth March 13, 2015 at 3:15 pm #

    Have you thought about going on the pill? I’m much lighter since I started taking it, but I’m not sure how readily available it would be in the inaka?

    • gaijinwife March 13, 2015 at 10:53 pm #

      I’m a bit scared hub might ‘go on heat’ if he thinks I’m on the pill – also not sure how easy would be to get prescriptions filled here! Haven’t been on pill since university – would probably forget and end up with 4th child and at moment hemorrhaging internal organs preferable to 4th child πŸ™‚

  3. Jeffrey March 13, 2015 at 3:30 pm #

    “Dickwad”! And I chauvinistically thought that was strictly an Americanism. Glad I found out where you are hiding your blog. Okay. I hadn’t checked in for a while after you said you were going on hiatus.

    • deleted March 13, 2015 at 10:56 pm #

      welcome. Dickwad πŸ™‚

  4. Merry March 13, 2015 at 4:11 pm #

    Omg, I hemorrhage too! Have ever since I was 13. You try explaining to your grandpa why you need an extra towel to Sleep with when staying a couple weeks in the summer. Ugh!
    I’m really glad the school decided to have a talk with the kids though. I was worried they were going to blow the whole thing off.

    • gaijinwife March 13, 2015 at 10:58 pm #

      Yes, same. At least they acted as soon as we asked! Thankfully the hemorrhaging only lasts a day and then its just heavy flow!

  5. gaijinwife March 14, 2015 at 6:27 am #

    Thanks for that Jen. Had never heard of it before. Hope your procedure goes well. I’ll be very interested to hear how it goes please!! Perhaps I can schedule a future visit home around the same thing – but will have a look into the ladies clinic I had my three kids at as I think they deal with anything fanny and uterus related :p

  6. takajolily March 15, 2015 at 11:34 pm #

    I was just reading this morning on facebook someone commented that Mirena, a kind of IUD is now available on insurance in Japan, for about 9000. (used to be 90,000!). You have to report heavy bleeding rather than wanting it for contraception.

    • gaijinwife March 16, 2015 at 8:35 am #

      haha, at first I thought your were saying something about Marina. Can’t believe it used to be 90,000!!! I have never used an IUD so might have a google and look into it. Thanks for the info.

      • Merry March 17, 2015 at 6:50 am #

        I have a Mirena. I love it. Just putting that out there πŸ˜‰

  7. Lauren in Chch March 16, 2015 at 6:16 am #

    Oh my God, this post had me laughing my ass off. Not about the pins in the boots, obviously, but your period musings. I can empathise but have no suggestions. Mine was never regular and sometimes heavy but for the last year or so I have often gazed in wonder and horror into the toilet bowl wondering which organ just fell out and when the hell it will stop. The last one lasted a month and came one week after the previous one. If nothing else, it’s getting freakin expensive with the amount of pads etc. I’m churning through. I’m 45 and thinking, “shit, is this menopause starting”. Aaargh. Can we blame environment? Stress?

    • gaijinwife March 16, 2015 at 8:33 am #

      Can absolutely not be menopause starting – I am ‘hoping’ that those of us who have bleed internal organs for the last 30 plus years will just get lesser and lesser flows as we head into menopause – that seems fair to me πŸ™‚

  8. gaijinwife March 17, 2015 at 9:49 am #

    Thank you Merry. Merina sounds so much like Marina that I might have trouble posting about it with out writing I put my daughter back up the saloon doors!!

  9. Nicole March 18, 2015 at 5:53 am #

    Hi – first time I have read your blog in a while and was very entertaining and enlightening! Thanks Kate!! I fully empathise with the bleeding stuff – and have learnt a lot through your comments – I want the RF machine thingy… but in the meantime am going to try one of those menstration cup thingys, could be revolting but could also be quite handy on the nasty days, willing to give it a try (once it arrives in my mailbox)

    • gaijinwife March 18, 2015 at 9:32 am #

      Must say the thought of a Diva cup or similar grosses me out but could be preferable to current situation!! I remember thinking that there was no way on earth I’d ever use pads but now I’m forced to or I’d be in changing tampons every twenty minutes!! Gaaaaah.

  10. Nikki April 3, 2015 at 7:25 am #

    Hope you are ok
    Havent heard anything For a while

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