Archive | May, 2015

Bra Man

14 May

I really need to get back into posting everyday. A lot going on as per usual – joined up to a new insurance scheme (separate post WITH PICTURES (yay, claps hands) of what I got for joining up), hub turns 50 tomorrow (separate post also), Soccer bollocks (half a post), and braces bollocks – Marina is getting them and I foresee this to take up many posts over the course of the next year, or possibly two.

But for the meantime can I please tell you about the lovely half naked man we encountered at the supermarket two nights ago…

The ‘lovely’ in that sentence was Kiwi sarcasm. It was a semi-traumatic experience and apparently the head of the supermarket was behind us taking pics on her iPhone to show police.

It was Tuesday. A lovely evening, two nights ago.

The sky was dark (we have few street lights) and the stars were dancing (as in the real shiny stars in the sky, not the random celebrities who get made to wear lycra and fishnets to dance in competition)

(trying to set scene so you can experience the incident as we did – although fortunately for you you will never actually get to experience this – Hurrah, pat yourselves on the back – YOU chose the right village in Japan to live in)

Shou and Marina had soccer so as per usual Tuesday night it was three hours of mental… picking Ryu up, getting dinner ready, English teaching, picking Shou and Marina up, feeding them and making sure they had all their shit for soccer and then driving them to said soccer before coming home and teaching another class from half six to half seven. In between all this there was probably one minute and 27 seconds where I thought “for fucks sake, I cleaned this house after you mongrels went to school and it was CLEAN and now ICEIS has come and bombed the fucker and hub will come home thinking I’ve been on the couch stuffing my face with crisps and playing Jelly Smash all day (only half true).


After English has finished and before I need to do the soccer pick up I take Ryu to the supermarket to buy cheese and select beverages. Ryu wanted to go to the loo but I was trying to convince him to jump up and down and cross his legs because the supermarket toilet is a hole in the ground, round the back, in the dark affair and I (capitals) didn’t even want to go there.

He said he was going anyway and went out the automatic doors (the only set in Kunimi) and came straight back in about 1.5 seconds later saying ‘mum, there’s a naked man outside’….

Said ‘naked man’ walked into supermarket and well, he wasn’t naked – thank fucking god. He had trousers on.

And a bra…

A lacy number….

Like the kind I wore when I was 15…

Seriously, it was faaar too small for him – in that he didn’t have boobs but he had a wide back and that sucker was stretched to within an inch of its life.

He kind of side walked in and stood RIGHT beside me  – as in invading my personal space – something that doesn’t happen often in Japan as people need enough room to bow without hitting heads ya know!!

I didn’t know what to do – except pull Ryu in close, wonder what color his lipstick was, and pay for my select beverages.

And please don’t turn this into a ‘the man should be able to wear what the fuck he wants and no wonder gay people hate ‘coming out’ kid of drama’ because it wasn’t like that AT ALL.

He didn’t say hello, he didn’t say any form of ‘aisatsu’ (greeting, hows the weather, excuse me) at all and this is odd in Japan – the land of greeting overkill. They greet each other as much as they buy insurance. Tis insane.

I’m now adapt in both.

He was apparently there to buy smokes and the next day when I went to the supermarket I asked the women if he was a regular customer and she said no – and wasn’t it lucky he wasn’t dangerous – which wasn’t the vibe I got from him at all but she obviously felt uncomfortable enough to think he could have done something odd.

I know we live in a very small town but if you were going to ‘come out’ then perhaps trousers, a bra and lippy on a Tuesday night at half seven (in front of my five year old) isn’t quite how you go about doing things. FFS, Ryu has being talking about it ever since and we have had conversations, long, long conversations, about men wearing bras – that may or may not have included hub saying that ‘if mum went to the supermarket in her bra she’d get taken away by the police’…

The kids now make sure I put my top on before I leave the house..


you lot.




Not the desired outcome

1 May

So on Tuesday I had PTA all day, with kinder class observation, traffic safety, and parent and teacher meeting, followed by an hours break and then school class observation, whole school PTA meeting, meetings with grade teachers and then the After School Care meeting.

Hub took the day off and came to the two class observations and then went to the After School Care meeting while I went home and got the kids dinner and sorted things out so him and I could go to the PTA dinner and leave Granny K in charge of the kids.

There is a lot of stuff to write about but for the sake of keeping this simple and just about what happened with the ASC meeting…. (snorts… keeping it simple….. as if)

I didn’t go. In hindsight I probably should have – if not just to give hub some support in a room of 15 mothers, two ASC women and no other men. I know he shouldn’t ‘need’ it and/or feel intimidated but being the only man in that kind of situation, a meeting usually attended just by mothers… …. Something I didn’t know as I usually don’t go because I teach English at that time. This year however all three primary schools in Kunimi had their PTA on the same day – the first time ever – meaning other mums from other schools couldn’t bring their kids to English anyway. Also meant the Karaoke joint up in the mountains was overrun with pissed parents and teachers until midnight :p

He said he raised the question of what would happen in the event of a serious accident – what with the parents having to sign a form saying they don’t/won’t/wouldn’t dream of holding the after school care club organization responsible for anything. He said he was concerned at the lack of supervision and that he thought that, for the safety of all children, the whole shebang should be run um, well, like an organization in which people are getting paid to supervise our children, and not one in which you go to pick up your child to find they aren’t even there and the ladies don’t know where they went, so you run around looking, only to find them either in the sea, with one other 7 year old, trying to spear fish in a tide thats going out, or running around the car-park which is  not visible from anywhere even near the ASC room.

He didn’t say the last bit. Instead he sat there in his suit and tie (I told him everyone else would be in jeans but he didn’t believe me), and looked and sounded like the civil servant he is. Bless him, but I think now he may have brought an overly protected stuffy image of himself – with a wife who obviously is planning on taking the organization to court if her precious child gets anything more than a bruise.

Which is ridiculous cause I’m from New Zealand and I just want to slap the woman and ask her to act more like a fuckin grownup.


Hub was a bit pissed nobody said anything to back him up. Everyone just sat their studying the cotton interweaving with cotton on their skirts and trousers. This is completely normal behavior at Japanese meetings of course- nobody wants to be the one to cause a confrontation.

Then one woman says she thinks the kids should be held responsible and that the parents should be instructing their kids at home on what they can and can’t do at ASC.

Sooooooo, lets say I tell Shou, and HTB’s mum tells him, to not play with dangerous things at after school care. They go to after school care and see two long bamboo stakes and decide to use them as swords. . . Do you see where this is going? They are fuckin 8 years old for christ sake. Half the time the shit you tell them doesn’t even process. The saying ‘are those ears painted on’ didn’t come from nowhere, it was specifically born after a parent was sick of telling their child the same shit over and over again.

Apparently the ASC woman also told the masses that she gave kids a warning two or three times and if they still ‘refused’ to listen then she let them be and if they hurt themselves or broke something then at least they’d learn not to do it again next time.

OK, now I want to slap her twice and then reverse back and slap her again.

I’m more leaning towards ‘warn them twice and if they don’t listen remove the dangerous object from them and make them sit inside for ten minutes’ kind of camp. Or if they repeatedly go to the sea without permission or supervision then they get banned for a week. Seriously, there are no consequences apart from the kids hurting themselves and the parents getting told ‘yeah, well, your 7 or 8 year old didn’t listen to me saying ‘hey, thats kind of dangerous, I think you should maybe perhaps stop ok?’

Hub got home a bit pissed off and I asked him who the mother was that said she thought it was up to the parents to stop their kids doing dangerous shit and not the teachers who are RIGHT THERE SUPPOSEDLY SUPERVISING….

I get that if your child is being a little cunt every single day then fair enough, the parents need to be doing a bit more too. I have told Shou before that if he gets a bad rap from the ASC teachers that day there will be no game time or going to a friend’s house in the weekend etc.

Anyhooo….. again…..

Hub said the woman had a polka dot top on and a high pony tail. I am confused as I know this woman, she was sitting behind me at PTA – and considering there were only 16 parents at PTA I know I’m not mistaken – and her son DOESN’T EVEN GO TO AFTER SCHOOL CARE.

That night, at the dinner and get pissed with the new teachers thing, I asked my friend about the meeting and she said that it WAS the woman  I thought and that her 11 year old son had started after school from this April – so that means he was been going for all of two weeks.

UM, WTF?? Her son hasn’t even been at ASC supposedly supervised but still getting cuts, broken arms and breaking windows until now – age 11 – Yes, your son should know better than a 7 or 8 year old. Your son also, from the countless times I have interacted with him through English and school drills and such, is not the run around outside type. He’s the read a manga inside type so SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Man, I was angry.

Wednesday was a public holiday but on Thursday and Friday four other kids that go to after school care and usually don’t get picked up until close to 6pm – were getting picked up straight after school … …  so maybe even though nobody said anything on the day to support what hub was saying, it has given them food for thought.

Obviously some companies are already in Golden Week holidays so parents were able to pick kids up early so we’ll see what happens from next Thursday when school goes back.

I don’t think I’m being over protective, I just want the rules they plaster all over the paperwork to be fuckin followed ya know. Number one on the list is that between 4:30 and 5:00 all kids will be inside doing their homework. LOL. High Tiger Boy hasn’t done his homework ONCE at after school care, in two years…


The kids and I are getting used to them being home straight after school more and they are on board with not being able to play outside while I am teaching. Wednesday is the only day I will be picking them up late and as I said in my last post, from next week Shou starts extra study club on Wednesday so it will only be Marina at after school club, forever making daisy chains and then coming home and running up the road to put them on the neighbors dog, who is very obliging.

Right, well done if you read that rant in its entirety. I’m off to get self and kids dressed for Saturday morning soccer (kids, not me), which starts today. Ryu is going too. Shou is going to start Saturday morning athletics in the next town over in a few weeks but the other two will soccer, and on days when hub has Saturday work I think I’ll just chuck it all in and we’ll stay in our PJs all day because sometimes the logistics is just too much to deal with.