Bra Man

14 May

I really need to get back into posting everyday. A lot going on as per usual – joined up to a new insurance scheme (separate post WITH PICTURES (yay, claps hands) of what I got for joining up), hub turns 50 tomorrow (separate post also), Soccer bollocks (half a post), and braces bollocks – Marina is getting them and I foresee this to take up many posts over the course of the next year, or possibly two.

But for the meantime can I please tell you about the lovely half naked man we encountered at the supermarket two nights ago…

The ‘lovely’ in that sentence was Kiwi sarcasm. It was a semi-traumatic experience and apparently the head of the supermarket was behind us taking pics on her iPhone to show police.

It was Tuesday. A lovely evening, two nights ago.

The sky was dark (we have few street lights) and the stars were dancing (as in the real shiny stars in the sky, not the random celebrities who get made to wear lycra and fishnets to dance in competition)

(trying to set scene so you can experience the incident as we did – although fortunately for you you will never actually get to experience this – Hurrah, pat yourselves on the back – YOU chose the right village in Japan to live in)

Shou and Marina had soccer so as per usual Tuesday night it was three hours of mental… picking Ryu up, getting dinner ready, English teaching, picking Shou and Marina up, feeding them and making sure they had all their shit for soccer and then driving them to said soccer before coming home and teaching another class from half six to half seven. In between all this there was probably one minute and 27 seconds where I thought “for fucks sake, I cleaned this house after you mongrels went to school and it was CLEAN and now ICEIS has come and bombed the fucker and hub will come home thinking I’ve been on the couch stuffing my face with crisps and playing Jelly Smash all day (only half true).


After English has finished and before I need to do the soccer pick up I take Ryu to the supermarket to buy cheese and select beverages. Ryu wanted to go to the loo but I was trying to convince him to jump up and down and cross his legs because the supermarket toilet is a hole in the ground, round the back, in the dark affair and I (capitals) didn’t even want to go there.

He said he was going anyway and went out the automatic doors (the only set in Kunimi) and came straight back in about 1.5 seconds later saying ‘mum, there’s a naked man outside’….

Said ‘naked man’ walked into supermarket and well, he wasn’t naked – thank fucking god. He had trousers on.

And a bra…

A lacy number….

Like the kind I wore when I was 15…

Seriously, it was faaar too small for him – in that he didn’t have boobs but he had a wide back and that sucker was stretched to within an inch of its life.

He kind of side walked in and stood RIGHT beside me  – as in invading my personal space – something that doesn’t happen often in Japan as people need enough room to bow without hitting heads ya know!!

I didn’t know what to do – except pull Ryu in close, wonder what color his lipstick was, and pay for my select beverages.

And please don’t turn this into a ‘the man should be able to wear what the fuck he wants and no wonder gay people hate ‘coming out’ kid of drama’ because it wasn’t like that AT ALL.

He didn’t say hello, he didn’t say any form of ‘aisatsu’ (greeting, hows the weather, excuse me) at all and this is odd in Japan – the land of greeting overkill. They greet each other as much as they buy insurance. Tis insane.

I’m now adapt in both.

He was apparently there to buy smokes and the next day when I went to the supermarket I asked the women if he was a regular customer and she said no – and wasn’t it lucky he wasn’t dangerous – which wasn’t the vibe I got from him at all but she obviously felt uncomfortable enough to think he could have done something odd.

I know we live in a very small town but if you were going to ‘come out’ then perhaps trousers, a bra and lippy on a Tuesday night at half seven (in front of my five year old) isn’t quite how you go about doing things. FFS, Ryu has being talking about it ever since and we have had conversations, long, long conversations, about men wearing bras – that may or may not have included hub saying that ‘if mum went to the supermarket in her bra she’d get taken away by the police’…

The kids now make sure I put my top on before I leave the house..


you lot.




7 Responses to “Bra Man”

  1. susan (eastendmom) May 15, 2015 at 12:35 am #

    You’ve given me a good laugh tonight & thanks for that. How odd that as you live in a small area where I assume you know most everyone (and everyone knows you & your business) you hadn’t seen this character before. Maybe you need to start your own version of “people of wal-mart” lol

    • gaijinwife May 15, 2015 at 12:40 am #

      haha – it would take a long time to get a good as a collection as the people of wal-mart gallery! Very odd that in my 15 years living here I haven’t come across him before – or maybe I have but just not when he is out at night in his bra!

  2. Jenna May 16, 2015 at 4:08 am #

    A guy was dressed like a schoolgirl and showed his underwear on purpose on his bicycle. These dudes are not tranvestite or gay. They are just perv that like to creep out others !

    • gaijinwife May 16, 2015 at 7:10 am #

      creepy was exactly what it was and I’ve been thinking about why it was so and, after talking to the supermarket lady again yesterday, realized it was his foundation – it was really pale and with his expressionless face and lippy it made me think of masks the robbers wore on Point Break – even though those were US presidents!!

  3. Ruth May 18, 2015 at 8:04 am #

    It’s the in-breeding – clearly!

  4. T in Tokyo June 2, 2015 at 1:47 am #

    Hope all is well with you and yours. Would love to hear about whatever is on your mind these days – feel free to tell me off if I’m being some sort of internet nag – just thinking about you and hoping things are going well.

    • gaijinwife June 2, 2015 at 9:07 am #

      Thanks T – nice to know people miss me – or rather miss the shit that goes here 🙂 Am feeling the need the have a post-athon to catch up 🙂 Watch this space. Promise there will be a post by tomorrow morning so you can laugh at my life while you drink coffee 🙂

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