Archive | December, 2015

Twas the Night before Christmas

23 Dec

Well technically it is the day of the night before Christmas. Very early in that day too. Still only 5:30am. Falling asleep with the kids when they go to bed isn’t something that happens very often but when it does it means I’m awake at the crack of bloody dawn. I figured it would be a good quiet time to have a coffee, or three, and write my list for the thousand things that need doing today.

At the semi-top of that list is finishing off our New Year postcards that need to be sent out to family, friends, colleagues, not to mention the random old man I stopped and talked to briefly whilst volunteer translating at an international triathlon event in Okinawa over 17 years ago! I’m actually quite surprised Mr. M is still alive. Perhaps my 22 year old glasses just thought he was more of a vestling than he really was at the time.

Post card making has once again, in annual tradition form, nearly led to divorce. I used to do the whole lot. Choose photos for the front, arrange them all, add some standard Japanese New Year phrase, print 150 out and then print out all the Japanese addresses. The first year I did this I had to physically input all the addresses by looking at the cards from the previous year. I would say seven thirds of the cards are work and family related ones for hub. Each year a few more get added depending on whether he changes offices or not, a few get deleted depending on who stopped sending them to us, and a few get skipped for a year depending on whether or not they sent out a card during the year saying not to send then a NY card because a family member had passed away.

It is all rather confusing and in my head it just makes so much more sense for the Japanese spouse, you know, the one with the native Japanese skills, to be doing the addresses. There were a couple of years there where we had some very heated debates about how he shouldn’t be losing his shit because I printed out a card to Mr. Tree-Hill-Stream instead of Mr. Forest-Mountain-Raging River.

I then put my pregnant hormonal foot down one year and told him to Fuck off about the NY cards. He had to do all the addresses and check them and then I would just open the bloody file and press print. Of course THAT year I printed the photo side the wrong away – apparently. So that if you were looking at the address side and then turned it over the photo was facing the wrong way – of course only if you turned the post card over from the right. For fucks sake.

So anyhoo, this year I bought a new printer and spent a good part of Tuesday trying to get it set up to the wi-fi, playing music and making me coffee. The printer itself is now connected, like totally, but it won’t have a bar of my computer. I can’t get them to be friends unless I use the old school cord. I know! Faaaark. I’m not sure if it’s an Epson doesn’t like Mac kind of problem. I doubt it. Probably more to do with fact can’t be bothered opening the Japanese instruction manual. OMG. That’s it! I’ve been trying to work it out like a MAN (goes to get manual to read later).

Hub brought home a USB with the address file on it. After spending more of yesterday getting the photo side sorted and printed off, I then tried to open the address file, which my computer immediately revolted again and completely fucked over by instantly deleting ever address except the last one. Hub could see me starting to rage and stupidly said, lets just flag the NY cards this year aye, if they’re that much of a pain in the ass.

This is not a productive or useful statement I want to hear after just printing off 150 pre-paid New Year post cards. I also cannot tick anything else off my list until its all done and they are in the post – unless of course I add ‘Fuck up the NY cards again’ to that list!

So today, when hub wakes up, and now that I’m calmer and about to get on to my second coffee, I will kindly ask hub to send the file from work to my email account, which I will then open on his old computer which I ‘think’ I can get sorted out with the new printer. Of course seven of the keys on the keyboard don’t work and it could possibly take until lunch time to print out thirty post cards BUT, needs must.

Oh shit, and it is Christmas eve day and we have a family of five joining us for Christmas dinner tomorrow, which will be a mix of NZ pork roast meets large pasta dishes to fill people up meets I have a really small oven.

Meets very large glasses of champagne.

The house needs to be cleaned, a lasagna and pudding need to be cooked, stockings need to be wrapped, winner winner chicken dinner for tonight needs to be prepared, one English class to have, a table set with Christmas placings and new wine glasses.

Oh, and futons sorted for the three kids of the family who are staying the night after Christmas dinner. I said Shou’s friend could stay. We know his two brothers well, I teach them all English, they are all at the same school yaddah yaddah, but I wasn’t thinking they would all be crashing the night – until I got a txt last night from my friend saying it was A.O.K at their end if all the kids stayed. I asked hub about it and he said he told the dad it was OK.

Fuck, that means I need to get more breakfast stuffs for Saturday.

Wish me luck.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May it be full of laughter, lots of cheer, bubbles, cake, joy and good will to all men.