7-year old boys

4 Jun

It is quarter to 6 and I am enjoying a cold one and some bloody peace and quiet, after hosting Ryu’s 7th birthday party. He was only allowed to invite 4 friends but fuck me sideways, jeeze. I. Am. Knackered. I teach all four of the boys English and while they go to three separate schools they all went to the same kinder and two play soccer with Ryu. The two that play soccer with Ryu are just lovely boys and come to think of it, maybe it’s all that bloody running around that lets them expend their energy. The other two aren’t bad kids but damn they are loud.

I mean they didn’t misbehave. They didn’t throw rocks at each other. I didn’t have to take anyone up to the mountains…

We played a few games, pass the parcel – which I play by stopping the music on kids in turn so they all get the same shit – until the end when I pretend to close my eyes and let the last best prezzie go to the kid who has been the least whiney, which of course then causes more whining but damn, stop the fucking whining already. Life is not fair.

There was a birthday cake – a very very anemic BB8 with pale orange and brown accessories as opposed to black and vibrant orange. The kids liked it though and had a bit of a laugh at the only 6 candles I could scrounge out of the used candle bag. I offered up a princess and a santa too but they were declined. I must say, I was very disorganized this year. Gone are the days where I spend three days making an elaborate cake with my hands thick in marshmallow fondant, sculpting jet planes with Lego ladders and a Lego Tom Cruise whilst singing ‘Thunder Zone’ to my three children under 5 – almost hysterically and quite possibly deranged.  Yesterday I bought two store-bought sponges, cut one in half, made some butter icing, did a rough ice over and fridged it – until after I had had wine, which was silly as BB8 was terribly neglected and I couldn’t be fagged rolling out fondant for his entire body so I just colored some internet ordered fondant into the aforementioned anemic orange and brown and cut out a few squares and circles and hey, Bob’s your uncle.

And anemic BB8 be your cake.

We saved the head for hub, Shou and Marina, who I had kicked out the house for the day because having siblings at your birthday sucks monkey nuts. They went and saw a movie and then visited Granny K in hospital, stopped for dinner somewhere and arrived home five minutes after I sat down with my drink…

It has taken me a little under an hour to write this much because I have had to referee the children and their children-ness-ness. In between of course questioning hub in length about why the fuck he would buy Budweiser and tell fabulous tale about poisonous ‘mamushi’ snake that came sliding up to the kitchen door during birthday party (possibly highlight as Ryu’s mad gaijin mum chased it away with a broom – which wasn’t good enough for hub, he asked why I didn’t kill it…. ummmmm, because five 7 year olds are watching and quite frankly I’m happy to tissue box a spider but I’m not sure I’m skilled enough in broom bashing snakes)

So, time to refill the glass and get the kids’ soccer stuff ready for a day of soccer tomorrow – quite possibly in the pissing rain. Only gets canceled if there is lightning.

Is there a lightning dance?




One Response to “7-year old boys”

  1. jennifer arthur June 4, 2016 at 2:34 pm #

    I’d say a fab success. If this:

    Came to my door during a 7 year old birthday party, I’d still be barricaded in the office having evacuated (not sure if the kids would have made it into the car or not, errr, sure they would have)

    Besides, who remembers their birthday party anyhow. I don’t even remember what I got for Christmas (although said tree awaits patiently in the library for the handyman (obviously not DH) to decide to cart it down to the wine cellar (harbored a bitty baby snake 11 years ago, thus can’t be bothered). Cheers to the weekend!

    Sent from my iPhone


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