Archive | July, 2016

It’s raining mum

26 Jul

And here, nearly week on, and I find myself nursing my second coffee after another very restless night! Gaaaaah, but thankful for the summer holiday program and not having to project manage three children for the day. God, I hope I heated everything up OK before making their bentos.

Our no TV, no screens and no alcohol Monday went well, bar the TV part – which we succumbed to because very entertaining program on fit for whole family – well, minus the bit on ‘practical jokes’ – one of which was of people riding elevators in Europe somewhere and the lights getting turned off, only to have a little girl in a white nightdress holding a scary doll turn up beside you when the lights come on. And THEN scream blue murder in your face. I would probably piss my pants!

But this post isn’t about me pissing my pants.

Oh no, today’s pissy pant post goes to Ryu.

After everyone else was in bed I got me a cup of cha and settled in for a couple of episodes of Masterchef Australia. Down to the wire we are. Finals night tonight! I headed up stairs just before midnight and was nearly asleep when Ryu comes down the hall very confused and out of sorts.

“Mum. My bed’s all wet”

“Oh, did you forget to go the loo before bed and after that really big shaved ice I let you have at 8pm…”

“No, but it’s not wee. Is it raining? Why is it only my bed thats wet?”

So there we both are, sniffing his wet pajamas at midnight.

I make him take off his PJs and then I strip his bed and take him downstairs naked to get more clothes on. After the other night’s extremely unsuccessful attempt of hub, Ryu and I sharing a bed I opt to get one of the downstairs guest futons out and put it in the TV room, with the aircon, because its still like 30 degree in the middle of the night. Ryu immediately falls back to sleep in the middle of the futon so I slide on up the side but am now fully awake and left alone with my thoughts – which went to the mini meetings we have with the teachers tonight. I haven’t been before I don’t think. I know I was in NZ last year and the year before at this time but maybe I went when Shou was in first grade. Anyhoo, thinking about how things need to be juggled with my English class, kid pick up, dinner, soccer drop off, mini meetings etc. Thank god Marina’s shrine dancing got cancelled – possibly because all parents will be at mini meeting.

I ended up vacating the futon for the couch, which was lucky because Shou was downstairs at 5:15. He was probably hoping to fit in a sneaky hour on Minecraft but didn’t seem too put out when he stumbled upon the futon and even went back to sleep for another hour.

It was a bit of a scramble to get the kids’ bentos ready and everything sorted and them off to the summer program so that I could get home with enough time to give a translation due at 9am a final once over.

But here we are.

So far today’s missions have been successfully completed.






Nay to Sleep

21 Jul

I came down stairs this morning to find three children doing homework…. ….. which would be a grand thing if it wasn’t half five on the first day of the school holidays. I mean fuckin seriously. They even had soccer last night AND stayed up half an hour past their bedtime to celebrate the end of school and three good-ish report cards.

Ryu’s was just about perfection, Marina’s was creditable and Shou had three triangles beside ‘looks after school property’ , ‘listen’s to people properly when they talk’ , and one other behavioral thing. Reports here for primary school are generally loads of columns for each subject etc and either a double circle for ‘has achieved this well’, a single circle for ‘achieved’ and a triangle for ‘fucked up’ or similar.

But anyway, it was too bloody early to be up, especially after the night of pretty much nay sleep I had.

Hub gets all nazi on me sometimes and declares a day ‘national not going to drink day’. This is usually a Monday as those are the days the school would like us to restrict screen time for the kids – we go full hog and say it is no TV, no electronic devices, and no alcohol day. This week however, Monday was a public holiday and I was away with Shou and Marina at soccer – which was a two day stay the night affair in Minami-Aso, a town that got hit relatively badly by the Kumamoto earthquake. Apparently there was an aftershock while we were there but must have been as we were all hollering from the sidelines at our respective kids.

It was a three-hour drive home after a hot hot couple of days and hub was also feeling exhausted after single parenting the golden child – sarcasm required in the ‘exhausted’ not the ‘golden child’. Ryu, on his own, is a pleasure to behold. Not wanting to remind hub that it was Monday, and considering we walked in to the TV blaring and Ryu playing Minecraft, it was obviously going to be acceptable to have a couple of cold beverages in celebration of ┬ásurviving the long weekend.

So, last night was beverage free instead – which means a bit more trouble floating off to sleepy land, which I find baffling as I don’t need wine or beverages of any description to successfully have a nana nap in the middle of the day! Hub tends to go to bed first which is annoying as he snores, which doesn’t seem to bother me after wine. I also don’t tend to wake to every sound that comes from the kids’ rooms but damn, last night!! Faaark.

It’s about 30 degrees (celsius) and, with the fan on full-tit practically in my face, I am very very close to successfully accomplishing the whole falling off to sleep thing when I hear a very loud ‘the squid and the toothbrush’ coming from Shou’s room. My mummy antenna now alert I patiently wait to see if there will be a sequel to the squid and toothbrush. There isn’t so I start the sleep process again but somehow manage to get caught up in my own head full of ‘the ten thousand and 21 things that need to be remembered over the summer holidays’. I must get bored at about 700, which may or may have not been what two days Shou and Marina need to water the plants at school.

I’m nearly asleep again when Ryu yells out ‘Mama’. While I am quite happy to let Shou fend off any squids and giant toothbrushes I really do have to rush to make sure the golden child is OK. He is wondering why every time he goes to sleep he dreams about something on his bed. I pat his back and give him a kiss and tell him there are no monsters in his bed, or giant squids, or toothbrushes, or plants to water for school.

I mean it’s 2am by this stage and I’m starting to not make sense.

On the way back to bed I realise that perhaps maybe something IS on his bed. When I went to close their window earlier the whole thing was open with no screen, meaning any number of oversized insects could have crawled in and IN FACT be in his bed. So I go back, scoop the boy up and we go back to our bed, where I have to not so gently try and de-starfish hub who, in my 15 second absence, is now taking up the entire bed.

I now have to sleep in a really awkward position. BUT, I’m also very tired and really everyone needs to just shut up now so I can go the fuck to sleep.

Which is all fine and dandy until about 3am when I can feel an internal organ trying to hemorrhage out my vagina. I do have a pad in the size of a yoga mat BUT, you know how you can just tell when it’s like ‘hey mother fucker, I’m huge and messy and I’m going to explode out the saloon doors and completely miss the pad and just make a huge fuckity mess the SECOND gravity lets me.

So I have to slinky dink out of bed and crawl to the toilet on my hands and knees. I make it, and carefully go to sit on the loo (any big movements and I’ll be changing my pajamas) when I realise my aforementioned awkward sleeping position and crawl to the loo have twisted the yoga mat and now half of it is stuck to the saloon doors and not to my undies.

I mean really.

I fuckin love ripping a bandage off my vagina at 3am – in silence, for fear of waking anyone up.

So let’s just say that when I hear Shou try to ninja down the stairs at 5am I was beyond over it. He ignored my, what were probably very incomprehensible by this stage, pleas of ‘PLEASE, just go back to bed’… …

And, now its 10am and I really need to clean the house, hang out the washing and try and sort through the piles of paperwork that accompanies summer holidays here in Japan. The homework worksheets, the homework workbook, the pages of diary entries that need to be written, the essays, the posters, the money boxes that need to be made, the swimming school, the plant watering, the peace day, the teacher’s meeting, the patrols, the, the, faaaaaark.

Here’s hoping I get a better sleep tonight at least.




Short and Sweet

13 Jul

Wow, nearly a month. Shame on me. I guess I’ve been busy but if I’ve got time to complete levels on Jelly Smash (or is it actually Splash?) and even google Pokemon Go to see what all the fuss is about then I guess I’ve got time to get back to the blog!

The 40th wasn’t as much of a bummer as I was expecting. I got lots of goodies from here, there and everywhere and the kids managed to not fight for 13 minutes so whose to say I’m not winning right there.

I am currently sitting in about 80% humidity, aka sweating my tits off, trying to get the motivation to sort dinner before I head off to teach three back to back classes. Out of the corner of my eye I can see two very long spider legs poking out from the deep wooden railing thing near our ceiling -that some Japanese rooms have. They haven’t moved for a while but they are widely distracting. I’m scared that if I try and spray it it will crawl up into the aircon and then I’ll bloody forget and turn it on and this spider the size of an adult male’s hand will come flying out and land on my face, and possibly start devouring it.

The fear is real people.

Irrational, but real.

It is lashing rain and the river in front of

Damn, I just saw a leg twitch. Lucky I took typing at school and spider leg watching and typing blog at 70 WPM tis actually possible.

So, river is raging and if the rain keeps up then pretty soon it will be at the most gushiest and raging have ever seen it. We have heavy rain warnings in place, as well as land slips and lightening ones. Had some fabulous lightening yesterday and a huge, but quite exciting, series of thunder rolls this morning – enough to have all the kids charging into our room at five am. The heavy rain warnings will mean hub has to stay at the town office until they are lifted – which will suck monkey nuts for him as is knackered after long week last week for damn election – but I guess someone has to be on call for when vestlings ring to ask for assistance in sand bagging their front doors.

Shit, got distracted with Granny K coming in the door, home from pottery. Turned my head away for like two seconds and now there are no long black legs on the white wall… Fuck, that’s it. I’m going to have to leave this room. The deep railing goes round the entire room and tis viably possibility that spider is Mcgyvering this way as I type.