Roses are Red

15 Feb

Valentine’s Day is a boiling heap of commercialistic bollocks. I know this. If I got flowers and bubbles every year I might lean more to the side of not caring about the commercialistic bollocks part of it but, sigh, Japan takes it to a whole new level.

In Japan, February 14 is for girls giving to boys and March 14, White Day, is for boys giving back to girls. It has evolved into all sorts of madness and now essentially chocolates are exchanged between work colleagues – this is a voluntary obligation in many places, as the name ‘giri-choco’ (obligation chocolate) suggests. The next biggest group of chocolate givers are girls to their other girl friends. This also has an original name, ‘tomo-choco’ (friend chocolate).

I remember last year, or perhaps the year before, Marina wanted to give chocolate to one of the boys in her class. We made some together and took it too his house and Marina was all nervous and cute and giggly. The whole thing was marvelous. The original ‘doki-doki’ ‘waku-waku’ of giving to someone you actually fancy. Brought back memories of my youth.

This year she wanted to bypass all the boys and just give tomo-choco to all the girls in the school. Obviously if our local school was a normal size I would never encourage this kind of behavior, but when there are only 11 girls in the ENTIRE school and you can get away with a single batch of cookies and a batch of cupcakes then well, its a nice afternoon baking with your daughter… ….

OK, so Marina is 9 and an afternoon baking is still not a pleasant experience, mainly because I’m too much of a control freak but I’m working on it, honestly.

Anyhoo, I can see this taking far to long to tell and I’ve got a shitload of shite on my list for today so I better stop fluffing on.

She made 16 little bags with one cookie and one cupcake in each. One for each girl, one for her two main teachers and one for the principal (she also asked me to take one to her teacher from last year who is now retired and lives on the other side of town and one to the 55 year-old man who runs the local dairy – I obliged on both accounts and nothing about this is creepy, trust me)

She took her stash to school yesterday.

I came home after work to find out that her teacher had confiscated her stash, along with that of another girl. He took them to the staffroom and said they would get them back at the end of day. They then spent little break getting told off for bringing them to school when they specifically got told on Monday not to bring valentine’s day stuff to school.

Marina wasn’t at school on Monday because I was taking her to a doctor’s appointment in the city. The teacher should have written something in her notebook that Ryu had taken to school for her. Apparently the girls got called aside and told – hence why neither Ryu or Shou heard the warning in any capacity to forewarn us.

I’m fine with the teacher confiscating them until after school and I do agree that I shouldn’t have let her taken them to school but, lessons learned and all that.

However, at the end of the day the teacher gave them back and told Marina she had to give one to everyone in the 2nd and 3rd years (11 kids in total). Marina said that then she wouldn’t have any to give to her ‘girl’ friends in the other grades. Her teacher didn’t care. She had enough for the whole class (the 2nd and 3rd grades share a class and a homeroom teacher).

The other girl who had her’s confiscated only had 3 left and therefore the teacher said that she could just put them back in her bag seeing as she didn’t have enough for everyone.

So at Afterschool care she was able to give her 3 to the older girls that she wanted to give them to.

This made me quite pissed off.

I’m actually OK with the confiscating, AND the having to give to the whole class because just giving to the girls isn’t fair so please give your hard-baked cookies and cupcakes to the snowflake boys who you didn’t make them for. I can run with the teacher up until then. But letting the other girl take hers away with her? That’s just shit teacher-ing. He could have at least said go down to the staffroom and give them to the teachers, I dunno.

I’m also pissed he didn’t cop on that Marina was away for the ‘warning’ from the 6th grade teacher on Monday.


AND even MORE pissed that she had to give her teacher one too!! While he was admittedly on her original list of people to give to, I’m still fucked off that he ended up with some after all of that huu ha.

This is a lot of drama for a 9 year old – especially when she had promised two fifth grade girls a fricken chocolate cupcake, ya know.

Bloody hell.

I was ‘this’ close to writing to her teacher about it – not all of it, just something along the lines of

“The weather is warming up and soon the first blossoms of Spring will be upon us. I’m really sorry for the Valentine’s Day mixup. It is one of my worst failings as a terrible parent. As I’m sure you possibly might probably know, Marina wasn’t at school on Monday and didn’t hear the ‘warning’ from K-sensei. I hope you enjoyed the cupcakes”

But I didn’t. I refrained, gave Marina lots of hugs, and told her that we’d work on a more secure battle plan for next year. Perhaps Wasbi in her teacher’s cupcake?


Fuckin twat.







13 Responses to “Roses are Red”

  1. littlebelgianwriter February 15, 2017 at 9:32 am #

    Yess!!! A wasabi cupcake would be a good thing to give this teacher! 😉

    • gaijinwife February 16, 2017 at 11:40 am #

      I think so 🙂 There is chance he wont be at our school from April (crosses fingers).

  2. ds February 16, 2017 at 8:20 am #

    I dunno, I’d be a bit pissed at the teacher telling my child who to give her sweets to. They don’t belong to the teacher, so it amounts to theft IMHO. “Take them home”, sure. But forcing a child to distribute their property just isn’t on. There is a big difference between saying “you can’t give them to….” and “you MUST give them to…..”

    Happened to my friend’s kids in school back in the US. Not exactly the same situation, but instead on the first day of the school year. My friend took her daughter shopping before school started, and she picked out her school supplies- pencils, erasers, notebooks with her fav characters, etc. Turns out the teacher TOOK everything from all the students and put all the stuff in “community boxes” for all students to use.

    Jesus. Welcome to North Korea.

    • gaijinwife February 16, 2017 at 11:39 am #

      Oh my bloody god!! That is so shit. If it was mandatory to all have exactly the same stuff I could almost understand – but even then there are the kids that just wreck whatever shit they have and kids who look after it!! Yeah, I am still pissed with the teacher. Almost thinking I shouldn’t go to the end of year PTA dinner and drinking thing because I might get pissed and give him a piece of my mind :p

  3. marons2233 February 16, 2017 at 6:08 pm #

    This is so ridiculously stupid. Marina is 9, she can perfectly well decide who gets her cupcakes. I remember Valentine’s day at my school
    The first year all girls pooled money and got boys gifts (all boys got the same stuff) but the next year each girl was assigned a boy to begift (is that a word?) and it was so much fun thinking and making/buying a present for your boy

    • gaijinwife February 17, 2017 at 4:07 am #

      Totally agree 🙂 Your Valentine’s day sounds fun. Did the boys get a girl to begift too? Was it like a secret Santa Valentine’s version?

      • marons2233 February 21, 2017 at 5:14 pm #

        Actually, it was not valentine’s ( until recently we didn’t celebrate it) but in Russia we have girls day on March 8th and boys day on February 23. So boys get a gift first, and in the case of my school – each girl was assigned a boy, and that boy was supposed to prepare a present for ‘his’ girl. It was so lovely, even bullies were somehow sweet and did their best to make a nice gift

  4. Marta February 16, 2017 at 6:19 pm #

    I definitely vote for wasabi cupcakes! 🙂

    • gaijinwife February 17, 2017 at 4:08 am #

      Yip, seems like the crowd favorite. I’ll need to set an alarm on my phone to remind self to ‘make wasabi cupcakes for twat teacher’

  5. Susan (Eastendmom) February 17, 2017 at 5:37 pm #

    Just putting in another vote for wasabi cupcakes. I remember a few things that happened to my kids when they were young that were just so unfair – it always seemed to be my daughter and my middle son who ran into some kind of unfairness. Nothing boils your blood like someone doing your kid wrong.
    On another note – I am so glad you are back to blogging 🙂

    • gaijinwife February 18, 2017 at 10:00 am #

      Hi Susan!! Glad (but not glad ya know) to hear that its not just my kids. I really have a problem with the teacher now. I don’t want to deal with him at all!!

  6. Deb March 2, 2017 at 7:01 am #

    This reminds me of the time I accidentally broke someone’s ruler so the substitute teacher (no less!) took my ruler and snapped it. It was one of those personalised ones with your name on it so actually not the same as a plain ruler. But seriously, what kind of cunt adult deliberately breaks a kid’s stuff to ‘make it even’. And no, no I’m not over it! Ha ha

    • gaijinwife March 2, 2017 at 12:53 pm #

      OMG, that is fuckin shit house. Damn.

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