About Gaijinwife

My name is Katy and I am gaijinwife. I live in very rural Japan surrounded by rice paddies and my own crazy children, of which I have three. My husband is Japanese, which by default means my mother in law is too. She lives with us. Has a room and kitchen down the end of the hall that smells like shiitake mushrooms and crusted on Chinese cabbage. I am the only ‘whitie’ in a 40km radius and as a result I do not get to speak as much English as I would like. This is my space to rant a bit, vent about the silly bollocks that I face on a daily basis – some of which is because I am a gaijin trying to navigate life in a small Japanese community – and some of which is just becasue its bloody silly bollocks.

Apart from dealing with the ballet bollocks, the soccer bollocks, the PTA and Japanese school system bollocks and the kid up the road bollocks, I teach English and translate, and of course drink wine and dabble in a bit of exercise in the endless hope to lose a bit of the I-pushed-three-babies-out-my-saloon-doors-in-three-years-and-then-my-parents-got-cancer-and-both-fuckin-died weight.

I tend not to use my blog to document the roses and fabric softner commercial parts of my day. My kids are adorable and each has a uniqueness that I love to watch grow. My husband helps around the house, plays with the kids, makes breakfast for them about as often as I do and is quite happy to cook if I have a big translation in. Thats all you’ll get about that. This blog is about the silly bollocks. In no way is it meant as a generalization over the whole of Japan and all Japanese people. I would be ranting about similar shit if I was still in New Zealand. Take this shit with a grain of salt.

I also swear a lot.

If you aren’t familiar with gaijinwife then here are a few terms you might need to familiarize yourself with…

  • international relations – sex, shagging, getting a leg over
  • vestling – anyone over the age of 70. This term came about becasue Granny K wears lots of vests.
  • bum bullet – a bullet shapped suppository that Japanese doctors like to give out when your child has a temperature. They are magic. We have a stock in the fridge and it is the first thing I pack when we go home. A zip-lock bag full of bum bullets.
  • faffing around – this is a kiwi term we use to mean not doing much or taking your sweet time to get ready or do something. Similar phrases would be pissing around or fluffing around.
  • SDGH&QL – Sweet Dreams, Good Health and Quiet Living – something my mum used to always say and what I usually use to sign off with.

I hope you enjoy reading about silly bollocks.



2 Responses to “About Gaijinwife”

  1. Polly Garter July 5, 2014 at 11:11 am #

    How has your week been Thinking of you

    • gaijinwife July 5, 2014 at 1:32 pm #

      Good! Just having a piece of cheese and tomato on toast and a cuppa and trying to feel sleepy…. perhaps need to buy more herb teas for the evenings. Buying herb teas makes me feel old 😦 Hope your weekend is going well. I didn’t even watch 7 days last night, which is kind of sad as usually love, but am usually drinking!

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